tgstonebutch: (boot)

As you know, my first solo collection, Show Yourself To Me: Queer Kink Erotica, was released in the fall. I am excited to be reading from it this coming weekend in San Francisco!

When: Sunday May 22, 3pm

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th


  • Avery Cassell is an older genderqueer San Francisco writer, poet, cartoonist, and artist who grew up in Iran. They live with their Maine Coon cat, Lulu, and bake yeasted waffles every Sunday morning. You can find their erotic short stories sprinkled in various anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and Sex Still Spoken Here. Avery is currently working on a book of more of Behrouz and Lucky's shenanigans, transcribing a collection of aerograms from Iran to the States in the early 1960s, and an illustrated early reader children's book about a eight year old transgender boy and his family.

  • Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written atnet since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies and online, and they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press.

  • Wickie Stamps is a widely published writer whose work has appeared in The Advocate, OutWeek, Gay Community News and over a dozen short-story collections. Wickie has won accolades for her writing of the staged drama Fugue State (Fringe Festival, San Francisco) and the multiple-award-winning film Foucault Who? Prior editor of both the notoriously hypermasculine Drummer magazine and the equally infamous Socialist Review, Wickie continues to make films, zines, and other work as part of San Francisco’s Heads Will Roll Studios. Keep an eye out for the upcoming Zeboiim, a queerly Southern tale of trauma and crime, and for Io Facc’ l’Omm, a disturbing crossroads of gender and obsession.

  • Xan West refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops; strong, supportive bottoms; red meat; long winding conversations about power, privilege, and community; showtunes; and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds. Find Xan’s thoughts about the praxis of sex, kink, queerness, power, and writing at

What: As Queer As You Want To Be. Four local smutty writers, Sunday afternoon, and you!

A free gift bag of sexy goodies from the fabulous folks at Good Vibrations for the first 15 folks at the show!

Suggested donation ($5-20) — No one turned away for lack of funds!

Avery Cassell will be reading from Behrouz Gets Lucky, a romantic, literary, kinky, and political novel about two older San Francisco queers - a butch dyke gardener named Lucky and a genderqueer librarian named Behrouz.

Sinclair Sexsmith will be reading from Sweet and Rough. Sweet, sensual adoration and dirty, rough sex meet in this anthology of queer smut.

Wickie Stamps will be reading from Io Facc’ l’Omm, a disturbing crossroads of gender and obsession.

I will be reading from Show Yourself To Me, a queer kink erotica collection where you meet pretty boys and nervous boys, vulnerable tops and dominant sadists, good girls and fierce girls and scared little girls, mean Daddies and loving Daddies and Daddies that are terrifying in delicious ways.

I am going to read from my story, “Willing,” which is by far my most romantic story yet. It centers a jaded vampire dominant sadist who meets the willing boy of his dreams, and includes knives, canes, rough body play, and blood sports, some of my most favorite things. Here is a tiny taste.

“I have been watching you a long time, Sir. I have seen how you play. I see the beast inside you. I know what is missing. Those boys at the Lure don’t know how to give you what you really need. They don’t see that they are barely feeding your craving and not touching your hunger. The boys here at Gomorrah don’t see you. They just see their own fantasy. They are simply food. I am strong, Sir. Strong enough for you. I can be yours. My blood, my flesh, my sex, my service. Yours to take however you choose, for as long as you want. To slake your hunger. I would be honored, Sir.”

I take a deep breath, stunned, studying him. This boy offered what I never really thought was possible. He has surprised me again. That alone shows that this boy is more than a meal. He just might be able to be all that he has offered.

I almost leave him there. I am ready to walk away. Fear creeps along my spine. With the centuries I have lived and the things I have seen, this boy is what scares me. There is nothing more terrifying than hope. I rake my eyes over him. He is standing quietly. He looks like he could stand in that position for hours. He has said his piece and is content to wait for my response. Oh, he is more than food, this one. What a gift to offer a vampire. Can I refuse this offering when it’s laid out before me? I step back, looking him over, and decide.

I breathe in possibility, watching the pulse in his throat. My senses heighten further as I focus my hunger on him, noticing the minute changes in breath, scenting him. I want to see him tremble. I want to smell his fear. I want to devour his pain, without holding back. Forget this public arena. If there is even a possibility that I might truly let go and move with the beast inside my skin, his growl on my lips and his claws grasping prey, I know exactly where I need to take this boy.

I do hope to see you this weekend at this awesome event!

tgstonebutch: (boot)
about my own consent as a top, particularly the kinds of things I need in place in order to go deep into my sadism. 
tgstonebutch: (boot)

Cleis Press is doing a Super Summer Sale, and two books that contain my erotica are on sale for $1.99 in ebook form, on Amazon:

Pleasure Bound: True Bondage Stories edited by Alison Tyler- $1.99

Pleasure Bound contains "A Lesson About Gender", one of my two stories that center genderfluid genderqueer characters (the other is "Strong", which was printed in Say Please). I discuss the origins of both stories here.

Here is an excerpt, from the first part of the story, where the protagonist is watching a dual set of scenes with the same dominant, that spur memories of hir own dominant. (As a heads up, it describes gendered play that involves blades, bondage, rough body play, and pain play.)

"With his girl it’s intimate, reaching into all those places instinctively guarded, so dangerously deliciously intimate, his blade menacing her eyes, piercing the inside of her lower lip. She’s bound, revealed, facing the voyeurs; intensity building; then silky sliding penetration, fear twisting into pain. She’s tough. It’s not about breaking her. It’s about ripping her open slowly, savoring each tear, each exposure, each soft sound. She’s trembling, uttering very few words, simply soft gasps and pleading eyes. He’s up close, very close. She’s slowly split open like fruit, tears dripping.

With his boy: the boy’s not bound, not still. He takes positions braced against hardness: hard wall, hard floor; back to the crowd for the entirety, physical distance between them. Sir is huge, towering over his boy. He’s using percussive, slow rhythm; simple tools: fists, boots, belt; punching, kicking, beating, jarring. The boy is required to hold positions, made to do push-ups, pushed to physical limits. There’s constant verbal interaction, the boy’s voice keeping rhythm, counting off. Tears are present, but they’re not the point. Fear is not the point. He’s tough. It’s not about breaking him. It’s about building him up, revealing his strength to him, building something important, the boy taking pride in himself, Sir taking pride in his boy."

Brief Encounters: 69 hot Gay Shorts edited by Shane Allison- $1.99

Brief Encounters contains "This Boy", a microfiction piece that describes the fantasies of a dominant sadist. It was a cathartic piece for me to write, naming in particular a fantasy that I was choosing not to act on, about a boy who was asking for it.

Here is an excerpt. (As a heads up, it describes ds focused sadism.)

"I want to stalk this boy around the room, until I’ve cornered my prey against a wall. I want to watch the pulse in his throat speed up. I want to savor the scent of his fear, build it up as I menace him with my size and ferocity. I want to speak to him softly, about sadism, about the beast that roams in my skin. Detail all of the ways he has been teasing it. Describe exactly the promises he has made and how he has been asking for it. I want this boy to realize what he’s been doing, and be afraid. And then I want to take his breath, and watch him struggle with a smile on my face. I want him to know what it is to be at my mercy and to see exactly how merciless the beast inside me can be."

tgstonebutch: (boot)

fangskitten on "My Precious Whore"

"I really enjoyed the kink aspects of My Precious Whore. While it’s not the kind of kink play I would personally engage in, I always appreciate a good kinky story."

And a lovely long mention by Angel Propps at Lambda Literary on "Strong"

"Some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years has been authored by Xan West and in the story “Strong,” Xan is working at top form. Gender itself is the beating, bleeding heart of the play between a transgendered butch and a genderqueer submissive. Using language that shows all too clearly the terrifying loveliness that is vulnerability, Xan delivers characters who willingly choose to go places where others fear to tread and the result is incredibly, satisfyingly filthy and erotic. The caning scene within this story literally made my thighs ache, and not just in sympathy."

And one that doesn't...
Here is what a reviewer says  about Coming Together With A Twist (which includes my story, "Ready"

"each one is imaginative, sexy and well written."

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Most erotic stories that I’ve read are from the bottom’s POV, or use third person omniscience. The ones from the top’s POV are more rare. That is one of the reasons I’ve written quite a few stories from the Dominant’s POV. This afternoon, I went back and looked at some of these stories, and thought about who is the center of the story, who is vulnerable in the story, who transforms.

“Nervous Boy” (Love at First Sting: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint ), which was the first story I wrote from the tops POV, has this somewhat omniscient top voice that is attuned to the bottom and what he is feeling, and is focused on facilitating his transformation. (An example of this voice: “I watch him carefully as I free my cock. His eyes widen. Is that fear? Excitement? Both, I decide, stroking my cock as I watch him. He is scared—what if it isn’t how he wanted? Or worse, what if it is? What if he really is a cocksucking fagboy who gets on his knees for strangers in alleys?”) Similarly, “Facing the Dark” (Backdraft: Firemen Erotica) and “My Precious Whore” (Best Lesbian Erotica 2011) are both written from the POV of a top facilitating a cathartic scene for a bottom. None of the tops in these three stories let you in much to their inner experience in a vulnerable way, though there are smaller moments of that. Instead, you witness the transformation of the bottom and desire for the bottom through their perception…their focus is on the bottom while you are inside their head. “Knives” (Best Gay Erotica 2009) is even more closed, where the top is fully in inscrutable armored dominance and seducing the reader by talking about all the ways that he uses knives in play.

I have seen this trend in most of the (rather rare) stories I’ve read that are from a top’s POV, where tops are deeply in the sense of themselves as all knowing, all powerful, invulnerable. Where they are inscrutable even as we are reading from their POV, showing off their prowess and strength and knowledge, displaying their bottom as a possession for the reader to admire, displaying their cruelty to seduce or impress the reader.

I get why these stories are hot, and some of them are crafted very well. And, as a top who is reading them, I need to be high on my own dominance to enjoy them and ride alongside them…otherwise they feel competitive, and full of posturing. (Much like these kinds of tales can feel in real life when tops tell them to me. If the top is not being vulnerable and focused on their own experience, struggles, and questions, but is instead solely focused on what they did to the bottom, and the impact it had on the bottom, it often feels like competition, posturing swagger, bragging. Especially, in my experience of it, when masculinely gendered tops tell these stories, particularly when they are talking about play with femmes and/or women. It can feel like the kinky version of locker room talk, and is often heavily laden with misogyny and disrespect for the hard work the bottom is also doing in the scene.)

Some well-thumbed examples of the kinds of erotica stories I am talking about are “Cocked and Loaded” by Thomas S. Roche (Taboo newly out as Sweet Danger: Erotic Stories of Forbidden Desire for Couples) “Harder” by Ian Phillips (Roughed Up: More Tales of Gay Men, Sex and Power), “A Beating” by Karl Van Uhl (Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex and Power), “Little Girls” by C. Lee Lambert (Tough Girls: Down and Dirty Dyke Erotica), “A Girl Like That” by Toni Amato (Best of the Best Lesbian Erotica), and “Feathers Have Weight”, by Alysia Angel (Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica). These are stories that are compelling, well written rides on the top side. (They also reflect my biases and kinks, which is why I remember them...many are from older collections.) The tops they depict, even when you are inside their head, are still basically invulnerable and inscrutable. Which I think reflects the image of tops (esp. masculine tops) in BDSM communities as a whole.

In contrast to these kinds of stories on the top side, I have deep love for Robin Sweeney’s “Dress Leather” (printed in Switch Hitters: Lesbians Write Gay Male Erotica and Gay Men Write Lesbian Erotica) precisely because it shows a deeply vulnerable top devastated by the loss of lovers to AIDS who has no idea why he survived past forty and is trying to build connection again with a twenty something boy, as the ghosts of his dead lovers swirl around him. It’s a heartbreaking, compelling, well written cathartic scene from the tops POV, where the top’s catharsis is at the center, and it’s gorgeous, and has stuck with me since I first read it in the late 90s.

As I grew as a top and grappled more with the inscrutable image of tops, the ways that tops are assumed to be invulnerable in life as well as play in kink communities, I have shifted my agenda when writing from the tops POV. I want more vulnerability in my tops, want the reader to see them struggle more, need more support, second guess, even when it is the bottom’s transformation that is the focus. My more recent story “Strong” (Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica) has a top who is facilitating a complex cathartic gender play scene, and who shows vulnerability while doing that, and I tried to create many more moments that illuminate the top’s vulnerability, and the way the bottom supports the top in that. I know that I’m at the beginning of pushing this agenda in my work. I’m looking forward to writing more stories that centralize top’s vulnerabilities.

Passages like these from “Strong” are the kind of thing I mean when I talk about illuminating the top’s vulnerability. As a heads up, they describe intense Ds, pain play, and rough sex.

“I need to see that she wants this, all the way through, and she knows how much I run on adrenaline when we play this way, how it reaches into my core and twists. I need to start fast, and hard, almost dare myself into it, because this scares the shit out of me, and that’s the only way to get over the mountain of fear that builds in me as I know we are going there. The more fear there is the rougher and faster I need it. I was especially rough that night, ignoring the gagging, groaning as I forced tears from her eyes.

‘That’s right, choke on my cock,’ I said gruffly.

There was rushing in my ears as I watched her choke, tears streaming down her cheeks, her eyes locked on mine, soft, reassuring. “

“Sinking into thud roots me, pulls me deep into myself. Using my whole body helps me re-establish, find my footing. He’s not the only one that needs to put himself back together, and he knows it. Knows that this is for both of us, that I need this as much as he does, and his job is to feed the energy back to me, to help keep it cycling between us.”

In contrast to those where the bottom’s transformation is the center, my “First Time Since” (Hurts So Good: Unrestrained Erotica) has an almost entirely self-focused top (the reader may even worry a bit about the crushed out bottom getting his heart broken), where the top leads himself through grieving a M/s relationship and recovering from that grief—the top facilitates his own transformation, and the scene with the bottom is just one tool for that. In my more romantic “Willing” (Leathermen: Gay Erotic Stories), a jaded vampire is slowly led to realize that he might have found a long term companion—it is the bottom who facilitates the top’s transformation. (I’ve also written stories where the top’s transformation is alongside the bottom’s, from the bottom’s POV…but that’s another thing altogether.) I’ve been playing more with centering the top’s transformation and catharsis in my work. I recently taught a class on *Edgeplay from the Top*, and became even more invested in this as the participants openly shared my hunger for stories of tops pushing their own edges, taking risks, struggling, getting hurt. I know how much the communities I care about need stories like this, need images of more complex and vulnerable tops.

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I just heard this evening that Cleis Press wants to include my story, “Missing Daddy” in Best Gay Erotica 2013. The series is edited by Richard Labonte, and this year’s volume is guest edited by Paul Russell. Labonte originally printed “Missing Daddy” in an anthology he edited, Daddies: Gay Erotic Fiction.

This is the story that I read from most often; the voice is so strong it makes for a good one to read aloud. It features a Daddy reminiscing about when he was a boy dreaming about gay public sex, and being claimed by his first Daddy. Both Daddy and boy are FTMs in the story—a bear and his cub with a sweet and raunchy dynamic, and they are part of a community of trans fags. It features some lovely heavy pain play with canes, describing it from the POV of a submissive who is not a masochist, but takes the pain for Daddy, and it culminates in a classic gay fantasy gangbang initiation scene. I have tremendous affection for it. I’m really glad that it will be reprinted, and in such a widely read anthology series.

Here are what a few folks have said about it, in response to the printing in Daddies:

Xan West's wistful "Missing Daddy" is about learning and moving on." –Richard Labonte, from the Introduction to Daddies

 “The moody "Missing Daddy" by Xan West features a Daddy reflecting on an epic gangbang-in-the-park scene given to him by his own Daddy years ago, and relating to his own boys.” --T. R. Moss

“Intense, compelling read.” Steve Isaak

"A "cub" undergoes an initiation into adulthood in Xan West’s "Missing Daddy,"... for a book so full of canings, rough sex, and bondage, "Daddies" offers a surprising number of moving stories about relationships that find their own lasting perfection: these men adore one another, however gruff the manner in which they might show it." –Killian Melloy

(cross posted to tumblr)

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Photo courtesy of A Couple of Wankers

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This post is part of Blogging Against Disablism Day

I know pain. I have spent most of my life moving with pain as part of my reality. Breathing through it, moving through it, thinking through it…when possible. Passing as if I was not in pain, or not is as much pain as I actually was. And I’m very good at it. Most of the time, to most people, you would not know. If you know me real well, you might guess. Energetically, I shield hard so that my pain doesn’t spread to others. So even for those who are energetically sensitive, you may not know how much pain I’m in, unless you touch me. At least most of the time. I spend a good portion of my spoons on passing, not showing that pain to people. I learned that early, have had enough bullies in my life to know that showing pain makes the bullying worse, invites more pain, and creates a level of vulnerability that I find intolerable. Those lessons are so ingrained, so deep, that much of my effort to mask the pain I am in is not conscious, or chosen, and would be very difficult to change.

Some pain takes up all the space, takes over completely, so that it is impossible to think, or to listen, or to talk, or to do anything except be in pain. With each of the pain conditions in my life, there have been times where pain is everything, and it is impossible to pass as if pain wasn’t in the driver’s seat. Where I cannot hide it.

That level of pain is not the same every time. Some kinds of pain intensify my awareness so much that it takes everything I have to just process the information I am receiving, and I have nothing left to use to mask the pain. With a migraine, it’s light and sound. Small sounds are large and large sounds are gigantic, and happening inside my skull. Dim lights are bright, and bright, especially moving lights are piercing and pounding all at once, again, inside my skull. I can’t think through it, can’t even really breathe through it, and the only chance I have of functioning at all, most of the time, is to (if I’m lucky) find a place of dark and quiet to wait it out. When my back is out, I am aware of the tiniest movement, of my own body, of the surfaces my body is touching or resting on. My awareness has a minute and deeply intense focus, all invested in preventing the pain from getting worse. Because I know how much worse it can get.

Some kinds of pain, the pain itself is the only focus, when it gets really bad. I can’t tune it out, can’t check out from it, even a little bit, can’t do anything except endure it, and that takes every bit of my energy and focus, just to endure it. Dental pain is like that, where it just won’t let up, is this pulsing, swollen, sharp pressure that feels unrelenting and unendurable. Or a deep and penetrating soreness after a root canal where every moment of the day all that I’m thinking about, all that I’m aware of is the bone deep intensity of invasion and soreness. And in my experience, the awareness that I have to do this again in 6-8 weeks, that there is more to do, and it will take what seems like forever. Or the 12 years of ever worsening endometriosis, where the pain itself felt toxic, like it was poisoning everything in my life, like my body itself was filled with infectious and horrifying poison. Where nothing helped, there was no relief, and I just kept bleeding out more poison.

I am in pain pretty much every day. Some days its more than one kind of pain. Some days its worse than others. That’s been true for most of my life. That experience is inextricable from my experience, desires, and identity as a sadist. When I’m hurting someone, I am often in pain myself. We don’t really talk about that in kink community. We talk mostly about pain as something we want in our lives, something that’s a conscious consenting choice. And we definitely don’t talk about physical pain outside of pain play, about the nonconsensual pain so many of us experience, and have lived with for a long time. One of the things I have to be deeply conscious of is my own shielding as I play, so I don’t feed my own nonconsensual pain to the bottom. That’s not the kind of pain we want to play with. That said, it is a particular challenge to shield in that way and still create the kind of energetic and emotional intimacy I want from pain play. Something I have had to work very hard at.

My pain history is a very particular context for testing toys on myself, to see what kind of pain they create and the level of intensity of that pain. My interpretation of intensity is deeply impacted by the kinds of pain I already know. My pain associations are mostly with nonconsensual pain in my own body, so I have to factor that in when I think about how a bottom may experience the very same pain.

My history with particular kinds of pain has shifted my relationship to inflicting it. I am willing to create a lot more surface, twisty, burning, grinding pain (pain caused by compression, abrasion, sting and heat on the skin, e,g. pinching, biting, wax play, canes, quirts, belts, grinding bootheels in, etc.) than most bottoms I play with have experienced before. I know that pain well…it most closely mimics the pain I experienced for years with endometriosis, the pain condition that so deeply marked so much of my adult life.

My capacity for playing with that kind of pain keeps deepening, is much more intense than it was when I first started topping (and had not experienced as much of that kind of pain).  I have a deep faith that it is possible to live through an intense amount of that kind of pain, because I lived through it. Because of that, I am up for going deeply and intensely into that kind of pain, spending a good long time writhing in it. I know the terrain of it, know how it works, know it is possible to survive it.

It’s cathartic for me to play with that kind of pain; I can ride the waves of it along with the bottom. It gives me this deep visceral sense of control over the pain that fucked me up so deeply for so long. I can play the music of it with exquisite grace and resonance because I know that pain so very well, and know what it takes to go through it. That kind of pain moves my inner sadist more intensely than any other—that is what feeds that aspect of me on a visceral level.

I know pain. That knowledge is in all of me. It’s not surprising that it would feed my sadism on such a visceral level. I bet I’m not alone.

tgstonebutch: (Default)
So, I heard from the editor of the voyeurism anthology. He wants to use my latest story "Compersion". Instant gratification. He called it "intense" in his email, which is definitely accurate. Very heavy sadism in that piece.
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I am pleased to announce that I will be teaching a class on upping your mean factor on April 3, at a Kinky Arts Festival at The Society in Hartford, CT.

Strategies for Upping Your Mean Factor: Working With Physical Limitations

This interactive workshop offers tools for upping the level of physical pain and psychological distress that you cause, within your own physical limitations, whether they be strength, size, disability, or stamina.  It unabashedly celebrates sadism, and is for all who are interested in upping the mean factor in their play.

tgstonebutch: (Default)
I am teaching a class in a few weeks on Strategies for Upping Your Mean Factor: Working with Physical Limitations.

I am putting together a resource list for folks attending the class, and I've got a decent list going but I was hoping to pick your collective brains about resources (particularly books or websites, but also quotes) that you find particularly useful/brilliant/would recommend on these two topics:
  • Sadism: reducing or addressing stigma/internalized shame around sadism, celebrating sadism, discussing ways to think through sadism, metaphors for sadism, creative/unusual sadistic toolboxes or strategies, sadist identity formation
  • Managing Physical Limitations: disability and sexuality/kink, day to day chronic pain/physical resource management, managing the impact of archetypes of perfection/size/interminable strength or stamina/supercrip on self image/sexuality (size/height/ability/strength and self image as a top in particular), claiming desire/pleasure in the context of limitations, sexual self determination/autonomy, playing/navigating relationships with disabled folks
Class Description: Despite the image of the all-powerful-never-tiring Top, most of us work with physical limitations: height, strength, size, disability, stamina.  This interactive workshop will offer you concrete tools and strategies for upping the level of pain and psychological distress that you cause, within your own set of physical limitations.  This workshop unabashedly celebrates sadism, and is for all who are interested in upping the mean factor in their play.
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I have been asked to teach at Conversio Virium (Mar 23), and been given carte blanche to teach whatever I want.  They are really good to Me at CV...they pack in to hear what I have to say, play along with Me in doing interactive activities, and are really engaged, even without the song and dance of a demo based class.  They are a joy to teach for.

Which of the following would you want to go to?  Which do you think is a better fit for the CV crowd?


Wrapping It Up: Drop, Aftercare, and Closing Rituals

You have gone to scary and wonderful places.  You have flown high, dropped deep, exploded into tiny bits, or feel like you own the universe.  Ever have a hard time getting back to the rest of the world?  Ever struggle in recovering from scenes or weekend events?  Ever feel like the ending was too abrupt, lingered, or never really ended?  Ever struggle to find a natural end when it feels like it could go on forever?  How do you close the scene, the dynamic, or the BDSM relationship so that it feels like it has a real tangible end?  This class will offer tools to strategize closure in our kink lives, discussing ways to close scenes, make aftercare work for you, deal with drop after a scene or event, and find closing rituals that assist you in letting go of BDSM relationships that have ended.


Reading Your Partner Using All Six Senses

Ever struggle to know how best to please your partner(s)?  Ever wish you could tell what your partner(s) really want?  Ever wish you could figure out whether it was too much or not enough?  One of our most prized assets (in kink and in life) is information.  Whether constructing a scene, inducing an orgasm, offering pleasing service, or renegotiating polyamory, information can only assist you in your endeavors.  This workshop will offer specific tools to increase your ability to gather information--to read your partner(s)--in sex, in play, and in life.


Sadist Beast: Exploring the Darkness

Sadism can evoke our darkest selves.  The nihilistic urges that most fear to bring to light.  Many describe these dark places in feral terms.  What does it mean to have that beast roam inside your skin, seeking prey?  How do you accept the darkest parts of yourself?  How do you harness that feral energy responsibly?  How do you select appropriate prey?  What are the risks and rewards of going deeply into these dark sadistic places?  In this class, Corey Alexander will discuss these questions and more.


Please Hurt Me: Finding and Nurturing Sadists

Want someone to hurt you?  Drive your thoughts away with pain?  Gain pleasure from your fear, tears, and suffering?  How do you find the sadist of your dreams, and what do you do with the sadist you’ve found?  How do you support sadism in a new top?  How do you nurture sadism within someone who is ambivalent or conflicted about it?  This class will offer tools for supporting and nurturing reluctant sadists, attracting experienced sadists, and navigating play so you get the kind of pain you want.


Classes in Development:

  • Constructing a Scene
  • Navigating Landmines: When it Goes Wrong
  • Playing as a New Top
  • Caning for Fun and Fear

tgstonebutch: (Default)
Sent in contracts for the anthology retitled Cruising For Bad Boys, a title that feels a bit over the top in a fabulous way. "A Large Full Meal" will appear in it.

This is nice praise:

"[Leathermen is] a terrific collection of SM-fueled short stories. There are some standards here — like "Exposed" by Aaron Travis — and some new work (at least to me), such as Xan West's violent and sweet "Willing." The last decade and a half brought us a plethora of queer erotic anthologies that have mapped out ground that was unthinkable 25 years ago. These anthologies have become increasingly repetitive — there are, apparently, just so many queers who actually write publishable stories — and often lackluster. Leathermen manages to stay fresh and emotionally cogent."

And so is this:
"If you like your fantasy on the extreme side, Xan West’s vampire tale “Willing” is packed with sharp edges, blood, and violence. For the “Been there, done that to death” crowd, the vampire’s restless ennui will speak volumes, as will the thrill at finding that life can still hold some surprises."

It seems I contribute to the unexpected nature of Backdraft, and that "Facing the Dark" would be equally at home in an S/M anthology...surprised?


tgstonebutch: (Default)

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