tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am very pleased to be reading this coming weekend from my recent collection, Show Yourself To Me. at the Pr-Folsom Street Fair edition of Perverts Put Out!

Perverts Put Out! is San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series.  Join us for PPO!'s annual pre-Folsom-Fair blowout on September 24th. Doors open at 7pm. Reading starts at 8pm.

Celebrating the universe's largest leather event, it'll feature some truly perverted performances by Jen Cross, Gina DeVries, Daphne Gottlieb, Philip Huang, horehound stillpoint, and Xan West, presided over by your hosts Dr. Carol Queen and Simon Sheppard. Please don't make us get down on our unworthy knees and beg!

At The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th in San Francisco

I will be reading my story, "A Large Full Meal," which centers two transmasculine tops. At it's core, it's about riding a wave of intense desire and endeavoring to be deeply respectful to a top who trusts you enough to bottom to you. It contains knife play, rough body play, and fisting. Here is a tiny taste. (As a heads up, this excerpt contains descriptions of knife play and rough body play.)

Knives get to me like nothing else. I’m one of those tops that likes to start with a knife and a wall, and go from there. To trap my prey, cornering him, until the wall is at his back and he is stuck facing my bulk and my knife. Because knives get me hard, instantly. There is this electric metal taste that seeps into my mouth, as adrenaline starts pumping in tune to the movements of the knife in my hand. We play that adrenaline together, and I find myself soaking up the steely scent of it, sliding my tongue along skin to taste it.

So it is not surprising that he got to me, and I came face to face with the fiercest animal need I have ever experienced.

A few months earlier, I had caught his eye at a sex club, but we both were busy at the time.  I grinned when I saw him in the hallway at the queer conference.  He was giving an impromptu lesson on cruising gay men to a couple of eager young trans fags.

“It’s all about the body language,” he explained.  “See, in gay men’s community, touch is a primary mode of communication.  Say I think that guy is cute.”

He raised his brows at me as I was walking slowly past him.  I turned slightly to catch his eye and cocked my head, pausing, eyeing his ass. 

“So I’d body up to him from behind, see?”

And he did, slowly.  I could feel his breath on my skin.

“And then I’d wait,” he said.

I moved back slightly, completing the contact.  He wrapped his arms around my waist, settling in behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder.  Even from behind, I could tell his bulk was mostly muscle.

“See how I waited for him to complete the contact before I wrapped my arms around him?  It’s all about the subtle signals.  Now I bet, if I trailed my hand along his arm, and tilted my head, he’d follow me.  We wouldn’t need to say a word.”

He was right.  I followed him.  Into the single stall all gender bathroom, and locked the door.

I play hard. It is the only way to play. And I had a live one that night. A fellow top who, by the grace of the gods, had decided I was worthy. His strength was glorious, his power immense, and I was playing with someone who absolutely could take me physically if he chose. Our play was premised on his continual consent. There is nothing hotter than a faggot who owns his desires, especially desires that rarely get fulfilled.             

It began with touch. His large body against mine. My hands reaching around him and gripping the back of his neck. I was reading his response, his eyes. That’s when I knew he wanted to be under me.             

I pinned him to the wall and focused on pounding, on reaching into his skin to find the man underneath. This man with a wicked sense of humor, a twisted intelligent brain, and an incredible level of psychic and physical strength. I kept driving my body into his, grabbing him. I was determined to find him. With firm hands, with pounding fists, with skin grasping his. I wanted to learn him, know his body, devour him. He was no snack. He was a large full meal. All that strength and power, all that delicious desire. And the most jolting green eyes that just opened to me as if it were effortless.

I am excited to read this story; it's a personal favorite.

Also, please save the date for a reading coming up next month. On Sunday October 16th from 2-4pm I will be reading my kinky queer smut at Feelmore 510 at 1703 Telegraph Avenue in Oakland, alongside Avery Cassell, BD Swain, and Sinclair Sexsmith.

Hope you have an amazing Folsom weekend. I hope to see you at PPO!

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am very pleased to be reading my queer kink erotica at the Pr-Folsom Street Fair edition of Perverts Put Out! I adore PPO, and have been reading at this edition of the fabulous performance series every year since I moved to the Bay Area. I am glad to continue that tradition.

When: Saturday September 24, 2016. Doors open at 7pm. Reading starts at 8pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th in San Francisco

What: Perverts Put Out! is San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series. Come get kinky with us! Performers include Lori Selke, Gina DeVries, Phillip Huang, Daphne Gottlieb, horehound stillpoint, Jen Cross, Naamen Tilahun, and Xan West (me!), with your fabulous hosts Simon Sheppard and Dr. Carol Queen.

Cost: $10-25 sliding scale

I will be reading from my recent collection, Show Yourself To Me.

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am very pleased to be reading my queer kink erotica at the Pride edition of Perverts Put Out, which is part of the 2016 National Queer Arts Festival!

When: Thursday June 23, 2013. Doors open at 7pm. Reading starts at 8pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th

What: Perverts Put Out! is San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series. Join an all-gender, all-orientation celebration of lust and love! Performers include Greta Christina, Sherilyn Connelly, Gina DeVries, Daphne Gottlieb, horehound stillpoint, Naamen Tilahun, and Xan West, with your fabulous hosts Simon Sheppard and Dr. Carol Queen.

Cost: $10-25 sliding scale

I will be reading from my recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself to Me. I plan to read from “What I Need,” a piece filled with D/s, edgeplay, rough sex, pain play, bootplay, breathplay and bloodsports. What more could you want?

Here is an excerpt from the story:

I push you to your knees, take out my cock, and ram it down your throat. Fuck the niceties. I need to be deep inside you right away, and I am there, feeling your throat convulse around me, growling, telling you to choke on my cock, to take it for me. I have my hands wrapped in your hair and I fuck your face, watching you work to take my dick, reveling in the sight of tears in your eyes. I take your breath with my cock—your nose stuck in my belly, my dick down your throat—and watch you struggle, your eyes huge, tears rolling down your cheeks. I pull back just a bit to free your breath and yank up my shirt as I take your breath again, my cock blocking your throat. I don’t pull up my shirt often. I’m the kind of trans stone butch that usually fucks with all my clothes on, but I want to feel your tears on my skin. My hunger for that is stronger than my need to be completely covered, at least right in this moment, and I know how you see me.

My stomach is jammed against your nose, allowing you no air. I savor it, the control I have over you in this moment, and wrap my hands into your hair, pulling it as I feel you gasp around my cock. Then I let you breathe again, pulling out for a moment to slap you across the face with my dick, watching your mouth form the words, “Thank you, Sir.”

I slap you in earnest, hard on the face, with my cock, then the back of my hand, repeatedly, each time upping the intensity. I thrust into your throat, feeling you choke on my cock, telling you to take it for me, be good for me. I groan and grip your hair tightly, ramming your mouth onto me, closing my eyes, savoring the feel of being deep inside you. I work my boot between your legs and grind it into you, meeting your eyes and watching them fill with pain, my dick muffling any noise you might make. I ride your throat hard, my boot grinding in time with my strokes, fresh tears falling on my fat belly and making my cock even harder.

I hope to see you at Perverts Put Out, if you are in the Bay next week.

tgstonebutch: (boot)

As you know, my first solo collection, Show Yourself To Me: Queer Kink Erotica, was released in the fall. I am excited to be reading from it this coming weekend in San Francisco!

When: Sunday May 22, 3pm

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th

Who:


  • Avery Cassell is an older genderqueer San Francisco writer, poet, cartoonist, and artist who grew up in Iran. They live with their Maine Coon cat, Lulu, and bake yeasted waffles every Sunday morning. You can find their erotic short stories sprinkled in various anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and Sex Still Spoken Here. Avery is currently working on a book of more of Behrouz and Lucky's shenanigans, transcribing a collection of aerograms from Iran to the States in the early 1960s, and an illustrated early reader children's book about a eight year old transgender boy and his family.

  • Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written atnet since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies and online, and they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press.

  • Wickie Stamps is a widely published writer whose work has appeared in The Advocate, OutWeek, Gay Community News and over a dozen short-story collections. Wickie has won accolades for her writing of the staged drama Fugue State (Fringe Festival, San Francisco) and the multiple-award-winning film Foucault Who? Prior editor of both the notoriously hypermasculine Drummer magazine and the equally infamous Socialist Review, Wickie continues to make films, zines, and other work as part of San Francisco’s Heads Will Roll Studios. Keep an eye out for the upcoming Zeboiim, a queerly Southern tale of trauma and crime, and for Io Facc’ l’Omm, a disturbing crossroads of gender and obsession.

  • Xan West refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops; strong, supportive bottoms; red meat; long winding conversations about power, privilege, and community; showtunes; and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds. Find Xan’s thoughts about the praxis of sex, kink, queerness, power, and writing at xanwest.wordpress.com.

What: As Queer As You Want To Be. Four local smutty writers, Sunday afternoon, and you!

A free gift bag of sexy goodies from the fabulous folks at Good Vibrations for the first 15 folks at the show!

Suggested donation ($5-20) — No one turned away for lack of funds!

Avery Cassell will be reading from Behrouz Gets Lucky, a romantic, literary, kinky, and political novel about two older San Francisco queers - a butch dyke gardener named Lucky and a genderqueer librarian named Behrouz.

Sinclair Sexsmith will be reading from Sweet and Rough. Sweet, sensual adoration and dirty, rough sex meet in this anthology of queer smut.

Wickie Stamps will be reading from Io Facc’ l’Omm, a disturbing crossroads of gender and obsession.

I will be reading from Show Yourself To Me, a queer kink erotica collection where you meet pretty boys and nervous boys, vulnerable tops and dominant sadists, good girls and fierce girls and scared little girls, mean Daddies and loving Daddies and Daddies that are terrifying in delicious ways.

I am going to read from my story, “Willing,” which is by far my most romantic story yet. It centers a jaded vampire dominant sadist who meets the willing boy of his dreams, and includes knives, canes, rough body play, and blood sports, some of my most favorite things. Here is a tiny taste.

“I have been watching you a long time, Sir. I have seen how you play. I see the beast inside you. I know what is missing. Those boys at the Lure don’t know how to give you what you really need. They don’t see that they are barely feeding your craving and not touching your hunger. The boys here at Gomorrah don’t see you. They just see their own fantasy. They are simply food. I am strong, Sir. Strong enough for you. I can be yours. My blood, my flesh, my sex, my service. Yours to take however you choose, for as long as you want. To slake your hunger. I would be honored, Sir.”

I take a deep breath, stunned, studying him. This boy offered what I never really thought was possible. He has surprised me again. That alone shows that this boy is more than a meal. He just might be able to be all that he has offered.

I almost leave him there. I am ready to walk away. Fear creeps along my spine. With the centuries I have lived and the things I have seen, this boy is what scares me. There is nothing more terrifying than hope. I rake my eyes over him. He is standing quietly. He looks like he could stand in that position for hours. He has said his piece and is content to wait for my response. Oh, he is more than food, this one. What a gift to offer a vampire. Can I refuse this offering when it’s laid out before me? I step back, looking him over, and decide.

I breathe in possibility, watching the pulse in his throat. My senses heighten further as I focus my hunger on him, noticing the minute changes in breath, scenting him. I want to see him tremble. I want to smell his fear. I want to devour his pain, without holding back. Forget this public arena. If there is even a possibility that I might truly let go and move with the beast inside my skin, his growl on my lips and his claws grasping prey, I know exactly where I need to take this boy.

I do hope to see you this weekend at this awesome event!

tgstonebutch: (boot)

Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, I won't be reading tonight at Leather, Lace and Lust at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco. The lineup is amazing and I do hope you will still consider going out and supporting these fabulous erotica writers.

In a couple weeks I will be reading from my new collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, at Leather, Lace and Lust in San Francisco. I really enjoy reading at this event and am looking forward to it.

What: An Evening Of Lusty Literature By Many Of The Best Erotica Writers In The Bay Area!

From the tempting tease of delicate lace to the steamy heat of hardcore leather, these authors and performers will amuse, delight, and most of all excite you in all kinds of new and provocative ways. In other words, a night of kick-ass erotica performed by ass-kicking writers!

Sponsored by WriteSex.

Who:


  • Daddy X has stories published in anthologies by Naughty Nights Press, House of Erotica, Cleis Press and now Daddy X, The Gonzo Collection has been released through Excessica. He is a frequent contributor to the Erotica Readers and Writers Association and their on-line Gallery where he serves as Storytime Editor.

  • Jean Marie Stine is the author of a number of pioneering works of erotica published in the late 1960 and early 1970s, beginning with Season of the Witch in 1968, which was filmed as the motion picture Synapse. Her erotic short stories and novelettes have been collected as Trans-sexual: Fiction for Gender Queers.

  • Linda Poelzl – has been writing and reading erotica since the early 90s. Her stories have appeared in several anthologies, the most recent being Joan Price's Ageless Erotica, Sex for People Over 50 published in 2013. Her articles have appeared in professional journals and a college textbook on sex and relationships.

  • Xan West refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops, strong supportive bottoms, queer activist communities, red meat, and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds.

  • Mistress Lorelei Powers – is a well-known bi poly sadist and Domme. She is the author of several BDSM classics, including On Display, The Mistress Manual, and Charm School for Sissy Maid.

  • M. Christian is a recognized master of erotica with more than 400 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica and many others.

When: Saturday December 19th, 2015. Doors at 630pm. Event starts at 730pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St between 9th and 10th.

Tickets can be gotten here.

Fetlife event is here.

Hope to see you there!

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am excited to be reading this Saturday at Liminal's Fourth Feminist Showcase.

Who: I will be reading alongside these lovely folks:

What: Liminal's 4th feminist showcase, on the THEME: I wear the glasses in this relationship! Suggested donations of $10 at the door or in advance, but no one is turned away for lack of funds. Get advance tickets here. Facebook event here.

When: Saturday 8/15/15 . Doors open at 6pm, reading starts at 7pm.

Where: Liminal, a feminist writing space, located at 3037 38th Avenue, Oakland, CA.

I will be reading from my novel in progress, Shocking Violet. It's a kinky polyamorous butch/femme romance novel that centers two disabled Jewish queers and their networks of relationships, set in NYC amidst the intensity of trans inclusion activism. Unlike my usual readings, this one will not contain explicit content, but focuses on the first date between Violet and Jax, and how they navigate the spark of D/s between them.

Here is a small taste of the excerpt I will be reading from this weekend. Learn more about Shocking Violet and find more excerpts here.

The appetizers arrived and gave her something to do with her hands. She concentrated on stirring the cold noodles with these awesome tongs they gave her, then looked up at him, asking with her eyes if she could serve him some.

“I’d like a small portion,” he said, his voice a bit hoarse. It made her shiver, that and the intensity of his eyes as he said it, as if he was taking a risk.

Oh.

It felt like the world contracted a bit, and she was holding her breath. She’d just gone there without even deciding to, as if her whole self had yearned toward him and reached without thought, just reached. She hadn’t let herself go there in so damn long. She’d been sure it would be hard (and it probably would be), but in this moment, it had this rightness to it and all she felt was the desire. Whoa.

Violet forced herself to breathe, and just let it all out in her smile as she bent over the little plate, making sure she had the right portion, that there were cucumbers on the plate, that it looked pleasing to the eye. Just let herself sink into this small pleasure as a gift for herself. It was ok to let it out just a bit. It was ok. She’d forgotten the way colors seemed brighter when she did this, the way calm sat in her heart. Oh my. This butch was dangerous.

Her hands were trembling just a bit as she placed the plate in front of him. She pulled them back quickly and put them in her lap, sliding the fidget from her purse to give her hands something to do as she pulled herself inward, found her core again. She took three long breaths, and put the fidget away, her hand sliding under the collar of her sweater and caressing the back of her neck as she silently recited the words written there. When she was ready, she looked up at him, and found his eyes gentle, waiting.

“A beautiful plate. Thank you Violet.”

She could feel her eyes swimming. Damnit. It was like he knew it was a big deal, and he was ok with holding that. That it was a big deal for him too. Oh fuck.

I hope that you will come out to Liminal this Saturday!

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I'm excited to be reading my queer kinky erotica at Leather, Lace and Lust this Saturday night at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco!

I have chosen to read an unpublished piece, an excerpt from my polyamourous queer BDSM romance novel in progress, Shocking Violet, that's titled "My Pretty Boy". It depicts a gender play scene between Jax, a transgender stone butch dominant, and his pretty boy, Rickie, a stone femme trans guy. The full story will be printed in my upcoming erotica collection, Show Yourself to Me, along with most of my erotica, old and new. This collection, coming out from Go Deeper Press, showcases my work over the last fifteen years.

I'm looking forward to sharing an excerpted version of "My Pretty Boy" with folks this weekend. I adore the relationship Jax has with Rickie, and the intensity of their play together. This story centers a bottom who hates soft gentle touch, and chooses to take it anyway, for his dominant. That aspect of their play electrifies the scene.

I'm going to share a taste with you. As a heads up, it references gender play, blood sports, blade play, and pain play.

Rickie was as armored as Jax. He didn’t want anyone too close, didn’t talk about feelings. That suited Jax just fine. The play was hot, respectful, intense, and boundaried in exactly the way Jax needed it to be.

Tenderness was edgy for Rickie, which made it a lovely tool for a stone butch sadist like Jax. His reactions to it were so glorious. Jax was looking forward to this date.

Rickie greeted him in the tightest black jeans Jax had ever seen, and a teal hoodie, unzipped so Jax could see the white v-neck underneath. His head was tilted, his eyes accented with slate eyeliner, his lips a deep blue, his nails a sparkly fuschia.

“Damn, you look pretty, boy.”

“I thought you might appreciate these jeans, Sir.”

Rickie adored being Jax’s pretty boy. He needed to be honored in the complexity of his gender, the ways that it was classic NYC Puerto Rican femme. Jax had consistently done that over the last year and a half. Inside play, and out of it. That shit was rare.

“Where are you at tonight?” Jax asked.

“I need to go down, hard. Need to prove I can take a lot. I need to bleed for you.”

“You can take a lot. You’re tough. The prettiest boys usually are, hmm?”

“Sir, I need…please make my mascara run.”

“Gladly. It makes me want to fuck you. Do you want my cock inside you tonight?”

“Oh, yes, Sir. I need you inside me.”

“Then we are on the same page. I’m in a claiming mood, like where we went a couple months ago. Remember that?”

Did he ever. That was exactly right for tonight, so much what Rickie needed that he hadn’t even let himself think it.

“I’d like that,” he said gruffly.

“Alright, then. Are you ready for me?”

“Ready, Sir.”

“Stay in exactly that spot. I will be there in a bit.”

Jax headed to the bathroom with his bag. He hadn’t wanted to be packing on the train over. But now that they were going to play…The familiar press of it in his tight jeans was a reminder to seek his own pleasure tonight. He had bad habits in that area, and he’d been working on breaking them. He was no service top, at heart, had deep needs of his own, and balancing them as he played was part of his conscious practice over the past year.

He took his time moving toward his boy, looked him over, slowly. He pulled out the only three tools he needed. His favorite quirt, his rubber flail, and the scissors that were dedicated to this boy. He picked up the scissors, pressed the sharp tips against his boy’s jugular, and spoke for the first time since he’d put the boy against the wall and told him to stay there.

“If you want to keep those jeans intact, they need to come off, now.”

If you want more Jax, he appears in a number of excerpts I have posted already. Of course you could also show up on Saturday and hear me read more from this particular excerpt.

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I will be reading my erotica at Leather, Lace & Lust tomorrow night, alongside such amazing authors as M. Christian, Molly Weatherfield, Blake C Aarens, Suz DeMello, Jean Marie Stine, and Mistress Lorelei Powers. Doors open at 630, event begins at 730, at The Center for Sex and Culture 1349 Mission St, San Francisco. Entry $10, tickets here.

I plan to read from my story, "A Large Full Meal", which was printed in Cruising for Bad Boys and Salacious Magazine. It is an intense filthy ride between two trans fag tops, featuring knife play, fisting and rough body play. Here is a taste:

Knives get to me like nothing else. I’m one of those tops that likes to start with a knife and a wall, and go from there. To trap my prey, cornering him, until the wall is at his back and he is stuck facing my bulk and my knife. Because knives get me hard, instantly. There is this electric metal taste that seeps into my mouth, as adrenaline starts pumping in tune to the movements of the knife in my hand. We play that adrenaline together, and I find myself soaking up the steely scent of it, sliding my tongue along skin to taste it.

So it is not surprising that he got to me, and I came face to face with the fiercest animal need I have ever experienced.

A few months earlier, I had caught his eye at a sex club, but we both were busy at the time.  I grinned when I saw him in the hallway at the queer conference.  He was giving an impromptu lesson on cruising gay men to a couple of eager young trans fags.

“It’s all about the body language,” he explained.  “See, in gay men’s community, touch is a primary mode of communication.  Say I think that guy is cute.”

He raised his brows at me as I was walking slowly past him.  I turned slightly to catch his eye and cocked my head, pausing, eyeing his ass. 

“So I’d body up to him from behind, see?”

And he did, slowly.  I could feel his breath on my skin.

“And then I’d wait,” he said.

I moved back slightly, completing the contact.  He wrapped his arms around my waist, settling in behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder.  Even from behind, I could tell his bulk was mostly muscle.

“See how I waited for him to complete the contact before I wrapped my arms around him?  It’s all about the subtle signals.  Now I bet, if I trailed my hand along his arm, and tilted my head, he’d follow me.  We wouldn’t need to say a word.”

He was right.  I followed him.  Into the single stall all gender bathroom, and locked the door.

Hope to see you at the reading tomorrow!

Fall News

Nov. 16th, 2014 09:07 am
tgstonebutch: (boot)
I’ve got a few tidbits of fall news I want to share with  you: 1) a reading, 2) a novel project and 3) a new publication.

Item the first: I am excited to be reading at Leather, Lace and Lust, in a few weeks.

When: Saturday December 6th, Doors at 6:30PM, Event starts at 7:30PM

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St, San Francisco

What:  A night of kick-ass erotica performed by ass-kicking writers! Sponsored by WriteSex. $10 admission fee.

Who: Our featured performers include:

·         Suz deMello, a.k.a Sue Swift, is a best-selling, award-winning author of seventeen romance novels in several subgenres, including erotica, comedy, historical, paranormal, mystery and suspense, plus a number of short stories and non-fiction articles on writing.
·         Molly Weatherfield: "Twenty years ago, a mild-mannered computer programmer decided to spend some quality time with her erotic fantasy life, and Carrie's Story - BDSM for smart girls - was born."
·         Mistress Lorelei Powers is a well-known bi poly sadist and Domme. She is the author of several BDSM classics, including On Display, The Mistress Manual, and Charm School for Sissy Maids.
·         Blake C. Aarens is an author, poet, screenwriter, playwright, and a Black Girl Nerd.
·         Jean Marie Stine is the author of a number of pioneering works of erotica published in the late 1960 and early 1970s, beginning with Season of the Witch in 1968, which was filmed as the motion picture Synapse. Her erotic short stories and novelettes have been collected as "Trans-sexual: Fiction for Gender Queers."
·         Xan West refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops, strong supportive bottoms, queer activist communities, red meat, and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds.
·         M.Christian is a recognized master of erotica with more than 400 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica and many others.

Item the second: I am participating in NaNoWrimo this year. The queer kinky erotic novel I am working on is tentatively titled Shocking Violet, the tale of a tg stone butch and a high femme cis queer woman risking connection with each other, set in NYC amidst the intensity of trans inclusion activism. It revolves around their efforts to build the trust and access intimacy that is necessary to explore the D/s they both really want. It is a deeply polyamorous love story, a story that centers two fat disabled Jewish queers in their queer communities, and highlights their commitment to honoring the multiple vital relationships in their lives.

For those wanting to follow along, a synopsis is here. The Pinterest inspiration board (full of images that I’m using to inspire moments in the novel) is here. The first taste I offered–centering Jax’s attraction to Violet–is here. And here is the second taste, which gives you a moment from their first date, where Violet touches her own submission for the first time in a very long time. This tease of an excerpt shows Violet being tart and ferocious in a way I personally enjoy very much. I may have a crush on her myself, right along with Jax.

Item the third: My gay fireman erotica story, “Facing the Dark”, has been printed in Coming Together: Pro Bono, a collection that was released this weekend. This is a charity collection to help raise money for the legal defense fund for Dear Author, in light of the recent lawsuit with Ellora’s Cave. You can get your copy here.

Here is a small taste of “Facing the Dark”, a story that centers cathartic play between an experienced sadist with a thing for firemen, and a fireman who wants to face his fears. As a heads up, this excerpt includes descriptions of pain play, rough body play, and breath play.

My hands gripped him, and I plundered his mouth. I slid one hand into his hair and gripped it at the roots, pulling it in time with my thrusting tongue. He tasted sensitive and surprised, his mouth almost innocent. My cock swelled as I twisted my hand in his hair, my tongue violating his mouth.

I slid out of him, and took his breath, covering his mouth and nose with my hand so that all he could smell was leather. I watched his eyes widen, watched him clench a fist to prevent himself from struggling. I waited as long as I dared the first time and then gave him his breath back, my hand sliding to his chest to feel it rise and fall. Then I took it again, this time biting down on his shoulder as I did, feeling his body react to the pain. His hands reached for me slightly, but he stopped them. I ground down onto his scarring, sending jolts of juicy pain right to his nerve endings, as he began to tremble just a bit. I lifted up, still blocking his air supply, meeting his eyes. I breathed in deeply, savoring the control.

“Your breath…is mine. Yes. I have it. You have given it to me. Let go.”

His eyes shifted, even settled a bit. I could tell he had started to float. And then I let him breathe. I stepped back and grabbed my SAP gloves. Now I could really get started. Punching on the pecs is one of my favorite things. With a guy like this, who is so strong, to make the kind of impact I want, I needed to up the ante. My lead shot gloves do that nicely. I rammed my fist into him, and felt the difference. Punches on the pecs are hardest on the mind. Blows are coming dangerously close to your face, but you are supposed to offer yourself to them. The deep impact jolts the wind out of you, and makes you feel like you have no defenses, like your strength won’t protect you. I could see it register with him, now, as I slammed force into him—that he was giving up his armor; that he had no control, had given it to me; that he was naked before me, and I was going to reach inside and take what I wanted from him.

My dick was throbbing as I watched him take it. He kept balanced, breathed with it, but his eyes just looked so raw and young all of a sudden, like I had reached past his toughness, slid through whatever was haunting him and found the part of him that was vulnerable and hurting. I just kept pounding him, knowing it was going to break through, watching for it, until it burst through his eyes. Tears slid down his face and he just kept standing there and taking it, letting it bubble out and through. It was gorgeous to watch. What courage that takes. I soaked it in, not holding back, relentless as I slammed into him, letting the dam wash through him and out his eyes.
tgstonebutch: (boot)
Folsom weekend approaches and I wanted to let you know about an event I hope will consider including in your plans. I am thrilled to be returning to read my erotica (which I write under the nom de plume Xan West) at the Pre-Folsom Perverts Put Out, in San Francisco, for the second year in a row.

When: Saturday September 20, 2014. Doors open at 7pm. Reading starts at 8pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th

What: Perverts Put Out! is San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series. Join a sexy celebration of leather and lust at Perverts Put Out!'s annual pre-Folsom-Fair show, with performers including  Sherilyn Connely, Greta Christina, Phillip Huang, Lori Selke, horehound stillpoint, Xan West, with your hosts Simon Sheppard and Dr. Carol Queen.

Cost: $10-25 sliding scale

I am excited about reading from a piece that centers two trans characters, so I am planning to read from “Missing Daddy”, which was recently reprinted in Best Gay Erotica 2013. It was described by the editor Paul Russell as a “breathtaking foray into extreme sex”. It features a Daddy reminiscing about when he was a boy dreaming about gay public sex, and being claimed by his first Daddy. Both Daddy and boy are trans men, a bear and his cub with a sweet and raunchy dynamic, and they are part of a community of gay trans men. One of my main goals in writing “Missing Daddy” was to illustrate what it’s like for a bottom who is not a masochist to choose to take intense pain as part of his submission. You go through that experience from the bottom’s point of view, hear how it feels and what he thinks about it, and hopefully get a glimpse of why he might choose that, what it means to him.

In other erotica-related news, my piece “Strong” will be included in Best Lesbian Erotica 2015, which can be pre-ordered right now.
Also, I posted a “Snog for Sommer”, along with over 50 other erotica writers, to support the erotic writer Sommer Marsden, whose family is grappling with pancreatic cancer.

I hope to see you at Perverts Put Out, if you are in the Bay next weekend.
tgstonebutch: (boot)
Each year, the Best Lesbian Erotica series captures some of the best smut stories by well-known and brand-new authors. Come hear readings from 2014's collection edited by Kathleen Warnock. Join us for an exciting reading from the new 2014 collection and beyond.

Here is the full list of readers, and its pretty amazing: Amy Butcher, Jen Cross, Carol Queen, Sinclair Sexsmith, BD Swain, M'kali-Hashiki, Cheryl Dunye, Xan West, and Jiz Lee!

$20 at the door includes the price of a book!


Buy your tickets EARLY from Eventbrite and receive an EXTRA ticket in the door prize giveaway, featuring fancy silicone toys from TANTUS and queer porn DVDs from PINK & WHITE.



Queer Smut: Best Lesbian Erotica 2014 release party


Thursday, December 12, 2013, 7-9pm



1349 Mission Street between 9th & 10th, San Francisco

Cost: $20 Includes a copy of the book Best Lesbian Erotica 2014


No one turned away for lack of funds



I am excited to be part of this reading, and am looking forward to reading an abridged version of "What I Need", a piece filled with D/s, edgeplay, rough sex, pain play, bootplay, breathplay and bloodsports. What more could you want?


Here is an excerpt from the story:

I push you to your knees, take out my cock, and ram it down your throat.  Fuck the niceties, I need to be deep inside you right away, and I am there, feeling your throat convulse around me, growling, telling you to choke on my cock, to take it for me.  I have my hands wrapped in your hair and I fuck your face, watching you work to take my dick, reveling in the sight of tears in your eyes.  I take your breath with my cock, your nose stuck in my belly, my dick down your throat, and watch you struggle, your eyes huge, tears rolling down your cheeks.  I pull back just a bit to free your breath, and yank up my shirt, as I take your breath again, my cock blocking your throat. I don’t pull up my shirt often, usually fuck with all my clothes on, but I want to feel your tears on my skin. My hunger for that is stronger than my need to be completely covered, at least right in this moment, and I know how you see me.

My stomach is jammed against your nose, allowing you no air. I savor it, the control I have over you in this moment, and wrap my hands into your hair, pulling it, as I feel you gasp around my cock.  Then I let you breathe again, pulling out for a moment to slap you across the face with my dick, watching your mouth form the words, “Thank you Sir.”

I slap you in earnest, hard on the face, with my cock, then the back of my hand, repeatedly, each time upping the intensity.  I thrust into your throat, feeling you choke on my cock, telling you to take it for me, be good for me.  I groan, and grip your hair tightly, ramming your mouth onto me, closing my eyes, savoring the feel of being deep inside you.  I work my boot between your legs and grind it into you, meeting your eyes and watching them fill with pain, my dick down your throat muffling any noise you might make.  I ride your throat hard, my boot grinding in time with my strokes, fresh tears falling on my fat belly and making my cock even harder. 
tgstonebutch: (boot)
I am thrilled to be included in yet another volume of Best Lesbian Erotica, the erotica series that helped to shape my eroticism and erotica writing. The 2014 edition of this much beloved erotica series, edited by Sarah Schulman and Kathleen Warnock, will be released on December 10th, and is available for pre-order now.

The table of contents includes work by well-known erotica writers and series regulars like Diana Cage, D.L. King, Theresa Noelle Roberts, Sinclair Sexmith, and Sharon Wachsler. Series editor Kathleen Warnock has called it “our most diverse line-up ever,” mentioning authors from India, Lebanon, and South Africa.

There are two official release parties (that highlight readings), one in NYC on 12/19, and one in SF on 12/12. I will be reading at the SF release party, alongside Amy Butcher, Jen Cross, Carol Queen, Sinclair Sexmith, BD Swain, and few exciting others to be announced.
When: Thursday, December 12th, 7-9pm
Where: The Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission Street between 9th and 10th, San Francisco

What: Queer Smut: Best Lesbian Erotica 2014 release party

Cost: $20 (includes a copy of the book) No one turned away for lack of funds.

My story in Best Lesbian Erotica 2014, “What I Need” is filled with intense dominance and raw desire, and I am so excited to have it appear in this volume. Here is a small excerpt that illustrates the kind of possessive dominance this story captures:

I need to be inside you.  This minute, no waiting, no preparation.  Fuck taking off any clothes, fuck finding an appropriate place, fuck finishing this conversation, I need to pull my dick out of my pants and be inside you immediately.  I am ravenous for you, need to have you, selfishly, focused on my urgency, aching to take exactly what I need from you right this second.  I need to stake my claim in you, on you, grab what’s mine.  Possess you thoroughly, ruthlessly, immediately.  And I can, because you are mine. You chose this 2 years ago, and keep choosing it, every day.

I hope to see you on 12/12 at the SF release party (and reading)!
tgstonebutch: (boot)
“Baxter’s Boy”, my story printed in the new anthology, The Big Book of Orgasms, was a long time coming. I’ve written elsewhere about how this piece is connected to my development as a smut writer, and is set in a very specific moment in my dykey college town, when trans men were coming out in droves and queer communities began to shift. The editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel, recently called it “a wonderful take on gender and desire.”

That is particularly apropos because “Baxter’s Boy” also has deep origins in my own genders and desires. I think owning and claiming your desires is a powerful thing to do; it is a central aspect of my sex positive politic. It’s also a huge turn-on for me: when someone owns their desires, is embodied in them and names them clearly, it is one of the hottest things in the world. One of the things I love about so many of the faggots I’ve known is how much they boldly and bluntly owned and claimed their desires.

I’ve been hot for faggotry for as long as I can recall actually owning my own desires, beginning around 20 years ago. Not just individual queer men, though I definitely have been hot for many. But for faggotry as sexual culture, fag archetypes, queer men’s sexual geography and expression. As my gender has ebbed and flowed, that desire has remained constant.

This aspect of my own desire has been a broad theme in my published smut. I have created many genderqueer and trans men characters who ached for faggotry, who reveled in being recognized, cruised and desired as queer men, who wanted to suck cock in alleys and bathrooms, wanted Daddy to bring them home from the bars, wanted to be seen as the faggots they knew they were inside. Here are a few snippets from some of those stories:

That's why I chose this alley. Fag friends have cruised by with me, shown me where to go, described protocol. Told me story after story about being on their knees, or getting sucked off, or (if it's especially late and fairly empty) bending over against the dumpster and getting fucked until they are so weak they can barely make it home. It's like you know the same stories. You're standing there against the wall, strategically placed to watch for danger. You're a cocksucker's dream, every inch the leather Daddy of my fantasies.” –“Alley Obsession”, printed in Got a Minute?: Sixty Second Erotica

As your boy, I was able to tap a deep faggotry that had been denied realization by a trick of biology. There was no disruption in it for you. You fully celebrated my raunchy queer sexuality. I could sink into it with you, hold none of it back, know you would meet my faggotry with your own.”—“A Lesson About Gender”, printed in Pleasure Bound: True Bondage Stories

“Daddy made me feel proud to be a faggot. That affirmation of self threaded through everything. He knew about my fantasies, the way I ached to cruise for public sex but was scared that no one would touch me. He made me jack off as I described being forced to my knees in an alley, being bent over the sink in a public bathroom, kneeling to service cock after cock at a gloryhole.”—“Missing Daddy”, printed in Best Gay Erotica 2013

“I watch him carefully as I free my cock. His eyes widen. Is that fear? Excitement? Both, I decide, stroking my cock as I watch him. He is scared—what if it isn’t how he wanted? Or worse, what if it is? What if he really is a cocksucking fagboy who gets on his knees for strangers in alleys?” –“Nervous Boy”, printed in Love at First Sting: Sexy Tales of Erotic Restraint

I came out into a cis gay men’s community, as a bisexual dyke. (I was genderfluid back then, but not out to myself about it.) My desires for many of the faggots in my life were not spoken, most of the time. We watched gay porn, they talked about their tricks and their lovers openly. We played spin the bottle and the boys tried out kissing each other. I had one former lover who became one of my closest friends, and shared the details of his queer sexual life, including a lot of details about how cruising and public sex work in cis gay culture. I learned sex positivity from these young faggots, as they continually affirmed their embodied desire with each other, and I began to build my own. I spent a long time yearning quietly. It felt impossible to be met in this desire.

Until about 15 years ago, when I got my hands on Carol Queen’s The Leather Daddy and the Femme. It was the first erotica I had ever read with a genderfluid character that got it on with cis gay men as a femme as well as a boy. This was the closest I had seen to any reflection of one of my core desires in an erotic text. Like Randy/Miranda in Carol Queen’s book, I didn’t just want to be desired as a boy, but as a femme too, without losing recognition as a fag. Because I wasn’t the kind of trans* that was just one of those things, and I wanted to be known, witnessed and desired in the fullness of all my genders. And I dreamed of a leather daddy I could submit to as all of myself.

I spent a long time writing about that need to be known, witnessed and desired as a fag boy, and in multiple genders. Many of my stories reflect that, including the ones I quoted above. But when I think about the origins of my own deep yearning for faggotry, I am taken back to the bisexual femme dyke I used to be, who thought her desire might never be met. She is who I wrote this story for.

“Baxter’s Boy” centers a high femme dyke who aches to play with queer boys. It focuses on her desire for Baxter, a gay FTM top, the first trans guy who came out as a faggot in her dykey college town. It is about her fantasies of bottoming to him and his boy, sparked by a long term crush and one particular New Year’s Eve kiss. Here is an excerpt that includes that kiss, along with a bit of pain play:

“When it hit midnight, I found myself next to Baxter somehow. He reached toward me, and gently touched my neck, watching my eyes as I trembled. Seconds later his hand was fisted in my hair, his tongue thrusting into my mouth, the other hand cupping my ass as he dipped me low. I opened to him, putting everything into that moment, all my submission, all my desire. He gently placed me back on my feet and smiled into my eyes, lightly chuckling. “I like to keep them guessing,” he said, indicating the crowd of shocked spectators. I smiled, heart pounding, and watched him walk back to his boy, his strut clearly showing he had done what he had come to do, and was proud of himself. He backed Robert into the wall and began to devour him.

I hadn’t seen him since. I spotted Robert watching me bottom a couple weeks later, as I fell in love with the rawhide cane.  I’m not a masochist, but there are some toys that reach into me. That kind of pain is a joy to submit to, in its relentless invasion.  I loved that cane so much I ached to kiss it afterwards.  When I opened my eyes to beg for that privilege, Robert was gone.

I went home that night with Robert and Baxter in my head, a fresh set of cane marks on my thighs. I lay in bed playing with the marks, taking off my combat boots and grinding the soles into them. I imagined Robert’s eyes watching me, Baxter’s boots on my sore thighs. I wanted them both so much. Wanted them inside my head, filling up all my holes, giving me pain. Wanted to be between them, a conduit for their pleasure in each other.”

“Baxter’s Boy” has just been printed in The Big Book of Orgasms, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. As part of its launch, I will be reading and signing books, along with a number of other authors, at the Polk Street Good Vibrations in San Francisco this Wednesday 11/6 at 630pm.

This blog post is an official part of the BBOO virtual book tour, and as such I can offer a giveaway. Click here for the chance to win a free copy of The Big Book of Orgasms.



cross posted from tumblr and my website
tgstonebutch: (boot)
I am pleased to announce that I will be doing another reading in SF in the first week of November. This FREE reading is to celebrate the launch of The Big Book of Orgasms, which is now widely available. I will be reading from “Baxter’s Boy”, a piece filled with queer fantasy and yearning, which has its roots in my identity as a smut writer.

WHEN: Wednesday November 6th, 2013, 6:30 - 7:30pm

WHERE: Good Vibrations Polk Street, 20 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street), San Francisco

WHAT: The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories (Cleis Press) is editor Rachel Kramer Bussel's latest and greatest erotica anthology. This climactic collection of pansexual short shorts are perfect for bedtime reading to a lover or on your own. Whether getting off from exhibitionism, voyeurism, hot wax, dirty talk or a very special pair of blue jeans, the characters in The Big Book of Orgasms go all out for the Big O. From vanilla to kinky, and everything in between, there's something for all erotic readers here.

At this special reading, Bussel will be joined by contributors Lily K. Cho, Malin James, Crystal Jordan, Sinclair Sexsmith, Donna George Storey, B.D. Swain, Virgie Tovar, Jade A. Waters and Xan West (that’s me!) for an evening of steamy stories that's sure to leave you hot and bothered.

Facebook Event Listing: https://www.facebook.com/events/186231794893318/

Fetlife Event Listing: https://fetlife.com/events/201391

I want to tell you about the Bookgasm raffle, where you can win 23 digital copies of Coming Together erotica anthologies, including two with my work: Coming Together: In Flux, and Coming Together: In Vein. Deadline to enter is 11/30/13.

Also, Cleis Press is running an Amazon sale on digital copies of a number of their anthologies, including two with my work: I Like to Watch and Leathermen.

I hope to see you at the reading on November 6th!

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