tgstonebutch: (reality check)
I just put a bunch of things on hold at the library, which is a regular part of my reading cycle. Though these days I have things I should read, and they are all rather difficult in one way or another, so I often end up not reading them, and reading something cozy or rereading something familiar.

I spent a long time having a policy of not accepting review copies for just this reason; I would start something and it would be too hard, and I could not finish it, or was not up for it right then and it would take ages for me to read, or I just couldn't read it at all. I accepted several review copies recently, and found myself getting stuck in each of them. This one because of genderqueer representation, that one because it was triggering, this one because the worldbuilding was so complex, my pain-fogged brain couldn't follow it. (I adore SFF but often cannot read new SFF for that reason.)

Given how much it feels like pressure to do the impossible to have a couple of these review copies still waiting for me, I think its probably a good idea for me not to accept more. Back to my old library patterns. Instead, I want to work out how to get my local library to order more of the titles I want, ideally how to do that online so I don't have to talk to people. They do well with YA but their romance and queer & trans lit...leaves much to be desired.

Put on hold today:
  • Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde
  • Aminas Voice by Hena Khan
  • The Pants Project by Cat Clarke
  • The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez
  • Where the Girls Are ed by DL King
  • Star Crossed by Barbara Dee
  • Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller
  • The Lawrence Browne Affair by Cat Sebastian
  • Heartstone by Elle Katherine White
  • Wintersong by S. Jae Jones
  • This Bridge Called My Back (new ed) ed by Gloria Anzaldua and Cherrie Moraga
  • A Boy Called Bat by Elana Arnold

Checked Out
  • The Awesome by Eva Darrows
  • Curvy Girls ed by Rachel Kramer Bussel
  • Iron and Velvet by Alexis Hall
  • Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

I also do much better with ebooks these days; they are easier for me to read in a number of ways, so print library books often get returned half read or unread. Ebooks are easier to carry, less likely to be allergic to them, easier to read lying down. (Which I should go do, cuz my back is saying we are done now.)

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Have you heard of Red Jordan Arobateau? Read his work?
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So.  Has anyone read Perry Moore's Hero?  Is it worth reading? 

He discusses how he specifically wanted to create a gay hero character because of the dearth/death of them in comics, which he documents here.

Found through [personal profile] neo_prodigy , who discusses the issue of homosexual hereos, whose blog I found through RaceFail 2.0, (a.k.a. as Mammoth Fail)which I caught wind of today and am collecting My thoughts on.
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a few quotes from Radical Ecstasy, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

"The most important step in grasping your intuition is opening yourself to it."

"When intuitions come to us in play or sex, it's usually in the form of an impulse--something telling us which toy to pick up next, or what words to say, or where to place the next clamp...If you are playing an connected and high and turned on, how can you tell the difference between an intuition and your own desires?  Well truthfully, you can't...and we don't suggest you gamble your reputation and your relationship with that bottom (and your karma, if you believe in such things) on the outcome...the important thing is that you have some way of checking your intuition before you wade in there and start flailing away."

"If you look at a body, it will tell you where to hit it."

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Wednesday March 11, 630-830@ The Center Turned Away: Young Adults Denied Access to City Shelters

Wednesday March 11, 730pm @ TES  The artist's way to designing scenes - with Nayland

Thursday March 19, 630-9pm @ The Center LCI Health and Pleasure Fair

Thursday, March 19, 7-9pm @ CUNY Graduate Center Contemporary Queer Literature: Past/Present/Future

Friday March 20, 6-8pm @ The Center Sistah presents the Bisexuality Series: Bisexuals in the Media

Friday March 20, 7pm @ Bluestockings Reading: Bettina Aptheker Intimate Politics: How I Grew Up Red, Fought for Free Speech, and Became a Feminist Rebel

Friday, March 20, 11pm @ Paddles Switch (a women/trans/genderqueer play party)

Saturday March 21-22 @ Jacob Javits Gay Life Expo

Saturday March 21, 1-4pm @ Brecht Forum  Diabetic dramas

Saturday, March 21  3:00 p.m, @ the Rubin Museum Out of Our Heads

Monday March 23 9pm @ CV My class on Strategies for Upping Your Mean Factor: Working with Physical Limitations 

Tuesday, March 24th 7PM @ Bluestockings Reading by Achy Obejas (queer Cuban writer, author of We Came All the Way From Cuba So You Could Dress Like This, Memory Mambo, and most recently Ruins, and one of My favorite queer writers) and Robert Arellano

Tuesday March 24, 730pm @ TES Sex in the Courtroom: Child Custody and Civil Rights

Wednesday March 25, 7-9pm @ Brecht Forum  Octavia Butler project panel

Thursday March 26, 7pm Screening: Anne Keala Kelly Noho Hewa:The Wrongful Occupation of Hawai’i

Friday March 27, 830pm @ Brecht Forum  DVD Launch of Juggling Gender

Saturday March 28 11am-6pm The Rainbow Book Fair

Saturday March 28 10a-5p @ Medgar Evers College  Octavia Butler Symposium of the National Black Writers Conference

Saturday March 28, 7pm @ Bluestockings Open Mic: Ya-Ya Network (Youth Allies Network) NYC Sex Education-- Breasts Not Bombs

Saturday March 28 930pm @ Redress Gayety--Sailor themed

Tuesday March 31 7-9pm @ The Center Panel: Breaking Molds: Considering Relationships to Food and Body Image in Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming Communities (I will be on the panel)

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Cecilia Tan is looking for some folks ASAP to speak on panels at Frolicon about sf/f and writing about sexuality, including writers and fans.  You get free admission to the con.

[ profile] verb_noire  has posted guidelines.

 [ profile] fjm  is looking for people interested in reading their remyths at Worldcon.
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It was remarked to Me recently by a very smart friend that it is odd how few folks that do Ds/Ms have studied the contemporary and historical social science work documenting structural inequalities and servant/slave/peasant revolts...that it in fact is neglectful to only look at the study of learning and interrogation, and ignore the ways that real world nonconsensual servitude, ownership and structural power operate, and the ways that oppressed peoples resist. 

To that end, I saw the quote below (from a literary source) with new eyes.  Literature is rich with psychological understanding, and I find Jacqueline Carey's work illuminating in that regard.  I learn things from literature that are different and just as valuable as those I learn from social science.

"If the greatest danger one faces as a slave is displeasing one's masters, this is the second: pleasing them.  All too soon, it becomes all too easy to forget doing aught else...we began sliding into the trap of growing too comfortable in our roles.  Wearing the mask of obedience for so long, I saw Joscelin forget at times that it was but a mask."  --Jacqueline Carey, Kushiel's Dart
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Was stuck in crazy train extravaganza last night and it took Me 2.5 hours to get home from Crown Heights.  (When it should have taken Me at most 45 minutes).

So, was already going to get less sleep than optimal, and now am running on about 4 hours of it.  Will not be going out tonight, which is sad cuz I was looking forward to it.  But yeah, just making it through the workday and then collapsing is about all I can do.

You should go in My stead, and let Me live vicariously through you:

The world famous award winning Fantasy author Catherynne M. Valente's ( newest book, Palimpsest, hits stores at the end of February. The book trips just on the other side of desire- a world of clockwork bees, ghostly groves, rivers of milk and wonderful (yet horrible) creatures at every turn. Visitors to Palimpsest carry their need upon their flesh, and their longing in every word- in a place where lives literally are bound to one another, thick with awe-inspiring descriptions of where the lips of your lover will transport you.

The lush and extravagant book launch event is Wednesday February 25th 7-11pm in Brooklyn, NY. Held at the The Brooklyn Lyceum (, there will be live music, art installations, decadent costumes, book readings, free food, door prizes and Performance art.

There will be book readings by Catherynne Valente from this newest novel as well as live musical performances by S.J. Tucker (, Poi spinning by Fire & Strings, a rope bondage suspension performance by Lee Harrington... and many other artists and performers. Free food and door prizes! This event will be a true feast for all the five senses, and an amazing opportunity for dressing for sensuality, richness, and temptation.
Buy your ticket here

For more information on the book and everything :
Info on the party
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Was pointed to this interview by [personal profile] yeloson  It is an old one with Chrystos, one of My all time favorite poets, whose poetry is fiercely politicized, particularly around race and colonialism, as well as queerness and mysogyny.  The interview is made of awesome, it has some brilliant quotes about white supremacy, in particular.

And...the Oscar Wilde Bookshop is closing in March.  The Times has a sweet article about it; their stock will be going at a discount.  A sad sad thing for NYC, which has so few independent bookstores left, and for queers in NYC in particular.  We need our queer bookshops.  When I was growing up in NYC, there were a ton of independent saddened Me to no end to move back here in 02 and see that so many had seems that these days the last of them are likely to go. 
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There has been a lengthy web discussion of cultural appropriation in fiction, particularly focused on SF/F. 

Along the way following this thread, I found a number of links I want to note.

About tactics used by white people to silence and respond to discussion of racism.

Responses to common arguments offered by white people when racism is criticized.

And, interestingly enough, a detailed argument about how WLS/dieting discussions are not conversations wanted/allowed in fat activist space, and why.
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It is a long standing desire, ever since I read the first chapter (which was excerpted in another anthology. Several years ago, I even wrote to the author asking if he knew where I could get a copy, to no avail. It is no longer in print, and there are not even used copies available. So, I am making this desire public, in the hopes that someone who reads this has access to book resources that I do not, and can track down a copy for Me. I would gladly pay for it, I just need to find a copy.
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Got this from Laurell K Hamilton's blog:

"I’m thrilled to announce that we have joined forces with a first class Writer, Producer, and film studio. The rumors are true - a movie and a possible TV show based on the Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter 16-book series is in the works. Stay tuned to the website for updates and details."

I am hopeful that this will be amazing. 
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I quite enjoy Jacqueline Carey's writing.  I purchased her latest book, and have it sitting on My desk.  I am practicing self-denial, for My own enjoyment.  I am in the midst of rereading a series of books by another author (at 4 out of 7), and quite enjoying that.  I generally read all the prior books before reading the new one.  And I rarely read just a few in a series, of any set of novels.  This means, in essence, despite the fact that I purchased this book yesterday, I will not be reading it until I have finished the series I am currently reading, and finished rereading the books prior.  But I will look longingly at it sitting on My desk.  And perhaps stroke it occasionally.  Or even read the inside flap...again.  It has a lovely image on the cover that I am quite enjoying.  Part of the fun is imagining what's inside that cover.  When I finally get to read it, I may break it into small delicious chunks, as well.

I am reminded of a conversation with a good friend, who described putting something delectable in the fridge, and not eating it.  Just opening the fridge every so often to look at it, and then closing it again.  That kind of asceticism was more enjoyable than actually eating the yummy thing.  

I stretch out food that I enjoy, eating bits of it at a time.  It's My compromise as a diabetic; a few bites of yumminess, particularly carb-heavy yumminess, and then put it away, or give it away if it cannot be savored later.  I know of at least one friend who enjoys going out to eat with Me for precisely that reason; ze gets My leftover yumminess.

One of the earliest kink classes I went to was on teasing and denial.  The teacher posited that it is the denial that makes the teasing.  Without denial, the teasing has no bite to it.  These days, I do orgasm control that is often less about teasing and denial, and more about forcing many upon the bottom, creating an overwhelming experience of surrender that way.  But teasing and denial has it's place, and is delicious in it's own way.

In My life, it most often takes literary form.
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I find this an odd list, but I played along.

"Someone" reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. It's not the Big Read though -- they don't publish books, and they've only featured these books so far. In any event...
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog

Read more )
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I just finished reading this book. It is wonderful.


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