tgstonebutch: (Default)
 So, as you likely know, I am facing homelessness, and have launched a crowdfunding campaign

You can also help me another way. My amazing publisher, Go Deeper Press, has generously promised to give me 100% of royalties of ebook sales for my queer kink erotica collection Show Yourself To Me!

Buy the ebook here, and I get 100% royalties! This goes from now until May 19 or until my YouCaring campaign goal has been reached, so if you have been considering buying the book, now is a wonderful time to do it. 

I am so incredibly moved by the good folks at Go Deeper Press for deciding to do this. The erotica community is amazing, and Jacob and Lana are two of my favorite people in it. 

I have included some advance praise for the collection below. Check out what reviewers had to say here. 

 

“Xan West’s work is fierce and absolutely fearless.” –Simon Sheppard

“Xan West’s Show Yourself To Me proves that the most important sex organ is the brain. Smart, hot, intense stories that are some of the finest erotic fiction around. Xan West’s erotic short stories are so visceral and reach into you so deep they imprint like a new lover. They’ll give you flashbacks to kinks you didn’t know you had.” –Cecilia Tan, writer and editor

“At last! An entire collection of radically queer, deeply transformative erotica by Xan West! No one chronicles queer kinkiness with more passion, skill, courage and talent.”  –Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra and Ecstasy is Necessary

“In Show Yourself To Me, you will read erotica about characters that are queer, trans, POC, fat, some with chronic pain and/or various dis/abilities (and more). Where has that happened before? Reading erotica that reflects so much of who I am and who my partner(s) are is pretty mind blowing and not something I’ve ever seen published.”  –Wyatt Riot, sex educator

“I love this collection. It’s wonderfully intense in the best possible way. I adored the content warnings in the front. What a great idea!” –Alisha Rai, author of Serving PleasureBedroom Games and A Gentleman in the Street

“Xan West’s work sends shock waves through the imagination that will send any reader over the edge into total sexual oblivion. A writer to watch, love and to be enticed by.” –Shane Allison, editor of Backdraft: Fireman EroticaIn Plain View: Gay Public Sexand Black Fire: Gay African American Erotica

“Stunning stories of power, transformation, and real queers from one of the most talented erotica writers, period.”  –Sinclair Sexsmith, Sugarbutch.net

“Xan West’s gorgeous stories breathe new life into the literary milieu of classic bdsm erotica. They are at turns frightening and earnest, but always true to form and completely hot. Show Yourself to Me is a veritable sexy switch of a collection, and is sure to become well-loved and worn-out by queer leather lovers of every size, gender, and genre.” – Lyric Seal

For more about Show Yourself To Me:

tgstonebutch: (Default)
Beloved Community,

I have been very ill over the last two years, and I am currently facing a high risk of homelessness. I need your support right now.

A couple of close friends helped me put together a crowdfunding campaign to raise funds to help me survive, until I begin receiving SSDI. Please consider supporting me by giving what you can, and/or sharing the campaign (there is a widget on the site that makes it easy!). Every little bit means so much.

Here is the link: https://www.youcaring.com/coreyalexander-803881

Thanks for any help you can offer.

Corey Alexander

tgstonebutch: (reality check)
I just put a bunch of things on hold at the library, which is a regular part of my reading cycle. Though these days I have things I should read, and they are all rather difficult in one way or another, so I often end up not reading them, and reading something cozy or rereading something familiar.

I spent a long time having a policy of not accepting review copies for just this reason; I would start something and it would be too hard, and I could not finish it, or was not up for it right then and it would take ages for me to read, or I just couldn't read it at all. I accepted several review copies recently, and found myself getting stuck in each of them. This one because of genderqueer representation, that one because it was triggering, this one because the worldbuilding was so complex, my pain-fogged brain couldn't follow it. (I adore SFF but often cannot read new SFF for that reason.)

Given how much it feels like pressure to do the impossible to have a couple of these review copies still waiting for me, I think its probably a good idea for me not to accept more. Back to my old library patterns. Instead, I want to work out how to get my local library to order more of the titles I want, ideally how to do that online so I don't have to talk to people. They do well with YA but their romance and queer & trans lit...leaves much to be desired.

Put on hold today:
  • Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde
  • Aminas Voice by Hena Khan
  • The Pants Project by Cat Clarke
  • The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez
  • Where the Girls Are ed by DL King
  • Star Crossed by Barbara Dee
  • Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller
  • The Lawrence Browne Affair by Cat Sebastian
  • Heartstone by Elle Katherine White
  • Wintersong by S. Jae Jones
  • This Bridge Called My Back (new ed) ed by Gloria Anzaldua and Cherrie Moraga
  • A Boy Called Bat by Elana Arnold

Checked Out
  • The Awesome by Eva Darrows
  • Curvy Girls ed by Rachel Kramer Bussel
  • Iron and Velvet by Alexis Hall
  • Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

I also do much better with ebooks these days; they are easier for me to read in a number of ways, so print library books often get returned half read or unread. Ebooks are easier to carry, less likely to be allergic to them, easier to read lying down. (Which I should go do, cuz my back is saying we are done now.)

tgstonebutch: (dragon)
So, I imported all my LJ over here, closing LJ down soon, want to give everyone on there a chance to see I'm over here instead. Deleting all my entries over there.

Seems like a time for a potential fresh start with this online journal thing that I did for many years and then tapered off. Gonna see what its like to try it again.

Was supposed to go do hard things today, was getting ready to leave and my back went out. My body's way of saying nope you need to lie down and rest today. So, that's my plan. Lying down and resting. Unless I have a miracle recovery in the next hour and can go do the later thing that needs doing. Given where my back is at, I doubt it.
tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am very pleased to be reading this coming weekend from my recent collection, Show Yourself To Me. at the Pr-Folsom Street Fair edition of Perverts Put Out!

Perverts Put Out! is San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series.  Join us for PPO!'s annual pre-Folsom-Fair blowout on September 24th. Doors open at 7pm. Reading starts at 8pm.

Celebrating the universe's largest leather event, it'll feature some truly perverted performances by Jen Cross, Gina DeVries, Daphne Gottlieb, Philip Huang, horehound stillpoint, and Xan West, presided over by your hosts Dr. Carol Queen and Simon Sheppard. Please don't make us get down on our unworthy knees and beg!

At The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th in San Francisco

I will be reading my story, "A Large Full Meal," which centers two transmasculine tops. At it's core, it's about riding a wave of intense desire and endeavoring to be deeply respectful to a top who trusts you enough to bottom to you. It contains knife play, rough body play, and fisting. Here is a tiny taste. (As a heads up, this excerpt contains descriptions of knife play and rough body play.)

Knives get to me like nothing else. I’m one of those tops that likes to start with a knife and a wall, and go from there. To trap my prey, cornering him, until the wall is at his back and he is stuck facing my bulk and my knife. Because knives get me hard, instantly. There is this electric metal taste that seeps into my mouth, as adrenaline starts pumping in tune to the movements of the knife in my hand. We play that adrenaline together, and I find myself soaking up the steely scent of it, sliding my tongue along skin to taste it.

So it is not surprising that he got to me, and I came face to face with the fiercest animal need I have ever experienced.

A few months earlier, I had caught his eye at a sex club, but we both were busy at the time.  I grinned when I saw him in the hallway at the queer conference.  He was giving an impromptu lesson on cruising gay men to a couple of eager young trans fags.

“It’s all about the body language,” he explained.  “See, in gay men’s community, touch is a primary mode of communication.  Say I think that guy is cute.”

He raised his brows at me as I was walking slowly past him.  I turned slightly to catch his eye and cocked my head, pausing, eyeing his ass. 

“So I’d body up to him from behind, see?”

And he did, slowly.  I could feel his breath on my skin.

“And then I’d wait,” he said.

I moved back slightly, completing the contact.  He wrapped his arms around my waist, settling in behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder.  Even from behind, I could tell his bulk was mostly muscle.

“See how I waited for him to complete the contact before I wrapped my arms around him?  It’s all about the subtle signals.  Now I bet, if I trailed my hand along his arm, and tilted my head, he’d follow me.  We wouldn’t need to say a word.”

He was right.  I followed him.  Into the single stall all gender bathroom, and locked the door.

I play hard. It is the only way to play. And I had a live one that night. A fellow top who, by the grace of the gods, had decided I was worthy. His strength was glorious, his power immense, and I was playing with someone who absolutely could take me physically if he chose. Our play was premised on his continual consent. There is nothing hotter than a faggot who owns his desires, especially desires that rarely get fulfilled.             

It began with touch. His large body against mine. My hands reaching around him and gripping the back of his neck. I was reading his response, his eyes. That’s when I knew he wanted to be under me.             

I pinned him to the wall and focused on pounding, on reaching into his skin to find the man underneath. This man with a wicked sense of humor, a twisted intelligent brain, and an incredible level of psychic and physical strength. I kept driving my body into his, grabbing him. I was determined to find him. With firm hands, with pounding fists, with skin grasping his. I wanted to learn him, know his body, devour him. He was no snack. He was a large full meal. All that strength and power, all that delicious desire. And the most jolting green eyes that just opened to me as if it were effortless.

I am excited to read this story; it's a personal favorite.

Also, please save the date for a reading coming up next month. On Sunday October 16th from 2-4pm I will be reading my kinky queer smut at Feelmore 510 at 1703 Telegraph Avenue in Oakland, alongside Avery Cassell, BD Swain, and Sinclair Sexsmith.

Hope you have an amazing Folsom weekend. I hope to see you at PPO!

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am very pleased to be reading my queer kink erotica at the Pr-Folsom Street Fair edition of Perverts Put Out! I adore PPO, and have been reading at this edition of the fabulous performance series every year since I moved to the Bay Area. I am glad to continue that tradition.

When: Saturday September 24, 2016. Doors open at 7pm. Reading starts at 8pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th in San Francisco

What: Perverts Put Out! is San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series. Come get kinky with us! Performers include Lori Selke, Gina DeVries, Phillip Huang, Daphne Gottlieb, horehound stillpoint, Jen Cross, Naamen Tilahun, and Xan West (me!), with your fabulous hosts Simon Sheppard and Dr. Carol Queen.

Cost: $10-25 sliding scale

I will be reading from my recent collection, Show Yourself To Me.

tgstonebutch: (boot)

Unfortunately, I will not be moving forward with my previously announced Queer and Trans Storytelling Workshop at Liminal (a feminist writing space in Oakland).

I am going to explain why, because I think that folks in trans communities in the Bay Area may find the information helpful.

The contract I was provided by Liminal misgendered me, despite the fact that Liminal knows the correct pronouns to use. I stated that I would not sign a contract that misgendered me, and stated that it felt disrespectful to receive one.  Liminal did not take my concern seriously, nor address it in an appropriate or respectful manner, and did not provide a corrected version of the contract.

I have concluded that this space is not a good fit for me as a trans educator, or for a workshop on queer and trans storytelling. I will not be teaching it at Liminal.

Sincere thanks to everyone who was excited about the workshop and helped to promote it. I hope to find a way to teach the workshop soon, either online or somewhere else in the Bay Area.

I have retitled it Trans and Queer Storytelling.

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am very pleased to be reading my queer kink erotica at the Pride edition of Perverts Put Out, which is part of the 2016 National Queer Arts Festival!

When: Thursday June 23, 2013. Doors open at 7pm. Reading starts at 8pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th

What: Perverts Put Out! is San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series. Join an all-gender, all-orientation celebration of lust and love! Performers include Greta Christina, Sherilyn Connelly, Gina DeVries, Daphne Gottlieb, horehound stillpoint, Naamen Tilahun, and Xan West, with your fabulous hosts Simon Sheppard and Dr. Carol Queen.

Cost: $10-25 sliding scale

I will be reading from my recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself to Me. I plan to read from “What I Need,” a piece filled with D/s, edgeplay, rough sex, pain play, bootplay, breathplay and bloodsports. What more could you want?

Here is an excerpt from the story:

I push you to your knees, take out my cock, and ram it down your throat. Fuck the niceties. I need to be deep inside you right away, and I am there, feeling your throat convulse around me, growling, telling you to choke on my cock, to take it for me. I have my hands wrapped in your hair and I fuck your face, watching you work to take my dick, reveling in the sight of tears in your eyes. I take your breath with my cock—your nose stuck in my belly, my dick down your throat—and watch you struggle, your eyes huge, tears rolling down your cheeks. I pull back just a bit to free your breath and yank up my shirt as I take your breath again, my cock blocking your throat. I don’t pull up my shirt often. I’m the kind of trans stone butch that usually fucks with all my clothes on, but I want to feel your tears on my skin. My hunger for that is stronger than my need to be completely covered, at least right in this moment, and I know how you see me.

My stomach is jammed against your nose, allowing you no air. I savor it, the control I have over you in this moment, and wrap my hands into your hair, pulling it as I feel you gasp around my cock. Then I let you breathe again, pulling out for a moment to slap you across the face with my dick, watching your mouth form the words, “Thank you, Sir.”

I slap you in earnest, hard on the face, with my cock, then the back of my hand, repeatedly, each time upping the intensity. I thrust into your throat, feeling you choke on my cock, telling you to take it for me, be good for me. I groan and grip your hair tightly, ramming your mouth onto me, closing my eyes, savoring the feel of being deep inside you. I work my boot between your legs and grind it into you, meeting your eyes and watching them fill with pain, my dick muffling any noise you might make. I ride your throat hard, my boot grinding in time with my strokes, fresh tears falling on my fat belly and making my cock even harder.

I hope to see you at Perverts Put Out, if you are in the Bay next week.

tgstonebutch: (boot)

As you know, my first solo collection, Show Yourself To Me: Queer Kink Erotica, was released in the fall. I am excited to be reading from it this coming weekend in San Francisco!

When: Sunday May 22, 3pm

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St. between 9th and 10th

Who:


  • Avery Cassell is an older genderqueer San Francisco writer, poet, cartoonist, and artist who grew up in Iran. They live with their Maine Coon cat, Lulu, and bake yeasted waffles every Sunday morning. You can find their erotic short stories sprinkled in various anthologies, including Best Lesbian Erotica 2015 and Sex Still Spoken Here. Avery is currently working on a book of more of Behrouz and Lucky's shenanigans, transcribing a collection of aerograms from Iran to the States in the early 1960s, and an illustrated early reader children's book about a eight year old transgender boy and his family.

  • Sinclair Sexsmith is a genderqueer kinky butch writer who teaches and performs, specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. They've written atnet since 2006, recognized numerous places as one of the Top Sex Blogs. Sinclair's gender theory and queer erotica is widely published in anthologies and online, and they are the editor of Best Lesbian Erotica 2012 and Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica, both published by Cleis Press.

  • Wickie Stamps is a widely published writer whose work has appeared in The Advocate, OutWeek, Gay Community News and over a dozen short-story collections. Wickie has won accolades for her writing of the staged drama Fugue State (Fringe Festival, San Francisco) and the multiple-award-winning film Foucault Who? Prior editor of both the notoriously hypermasculine Drummer magazine and the equally infamous Socialist Review, Wickie continues to make films, zines, and other work as part of San Francisco’s Heads Will Roll Studios. Keep an eye out for the upcoming Zeboiim, a queerly Southern tale of trauma and crime, and for Io Facc’ l’Omm, a disturbing crossroads of gender and obsession.

  • Xan West refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops; strong, supportive bottoms; red meat; long winding conversations about power, privilege, and community; showtunes; and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds. Find Xan’s thoughts about the praxis of sex, kink, queerness, power, and writing at xanwest.wordpress.com.

What: As Queer As You Want To Be. Four local smutty writers, Sunday afternoon, and you!

A free gift bag of sexy goodies from the fabulous folks at Good Vibrations for the first 15 folks at the show!

Suggested donation ($5-20) — No one turned away for lack of funds!

Avery Cassell will be reading from Behrouz Gets Lucky, a romantic, literary, kinky, and political novel about two older San Francisco queers - a butch dyke gardener named Lucky and a genderqueer librarian named Behrouz.

Sinclair Sexsmith will be reading from Sweet and Rough. Sweet, sensual adoration and dirty, rough sex meet in this anthology of queer smut.

Wickie Stamps will be reading from Io Facc’ l’Omm, a disturbing crossroads of gender and obsession.

I will be reading from Show Yourself To Me, a queer kink erotica collection where you meet pretty boys and nervous boys, vulnerable tops and dominant sadists, good girls and fierce girls and scared little girls, mean Daddies and loving Daddies and Daddies that are terrifying in delicious ways.

I am going to read from my story, “Willing,” which is by far my most romantic story yet. It centers a jaded vampire dominant sadist who meets the willing boy of his dreams, and includes knives, canes, rough body play, and blood sports, some of my most favorite things. Here is a tiny taste.

“I have been watching you a long time, Sir. I have seen how you play. I see the beast inside you. I know what is missing. Those boys at the Lure don’t know how to give you what you really need. They don’t see that they are barely feeding your craving and not touching your hunger. The boys here at Gomorrah don’t see you. They just see their own fantasy. They are simply food. I am strong, Sir. Strong enough for you. I can be yours. My blood, my flesh, my sex, my service. Yours to take however you choose, for as long as you want. To slake your hunger. I would be honored, Sir.”

I take a deep breath, stunned, studying him. This boy offered what I never really thought was possible. He has surprised me again. That alone shows that this boy is more than a meal. He just might be able to be all that he has offered.

I almost leave him there. I am ready to walk away. Fear creeps along my spine. With the centuries I have lived and the things I have seen, this boy is what scares me. There is nothing more terrifying than hope. I rake my eyes over him. He is standing quietly. He looks like he could stand in that position for hours. He has said his piece and is content to wait for my response. Oh, he is more than food, this one. What a gift to offer a vampire. Can I refuse this offering when it’s laid out before me? I step back, looking him over, and decide.

I breathe in possibility, watching the pulse in his throat. My senses heighten further as I focus my hunger on him, noticing the minute changes in breath, scenting him. I want to see him tremble. I want to smell his fear. I want to devour his pain, without holding back. Forget this public arena. If there is even a possibility that I might truly let go and move with the beast inside my skin, his growl on my lips and his claws grasping prey, I know exactly where I need to take this boy.

I do hope to see you this weekend at this awesome event!

tgstonebutch: (reality check)

About content: this post speaks openly (and in some detail) about trans oppression in queer communities (with a focus on the ways trans men are targeted), gender border wars, purging, and gender-based coercion and abuse in relationships. Most of that discussion is in the first section, so if you want to avoid it, skip to the section titled My Response to Grandmother-nei-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds.

My Own Context for Reading Rose Lemberg's Grandmother-nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds

I remember the hardness of the chairs in the auditorium. I remember the buzz of the fluorescent lights. I remember trembling in my seat, my stomach in knots. I remember the energy in the room feeling dangerous to me, like if I moved I might get noticed, get hit by the violent storm.

I don’t remember what exactly people said at that queer town hall meeting. I have tried, today, as I write this, to recall those kinds of details. But I can’t access them. I don’t know how I ended up in that room. I don’t know who I came with.

It was 1996, probably. I think. Twenty years ago. And it was the first time I heard queer cis women speaking openly about the reality that some of their partners, some folks in queer women’s community, were transitioning.

I say speaking openly, but that is too measured a description, and a bit too kind. Because what they actually were doing was debating. Debating whether to allow this. Whether to purge these men from their lives and their community. Whether they could possibly bring themselves to ever date someone trans. Articulating their feelings of betrayal. Naming the ways they felt hurt and victimized that lesbians were disappearing. Describing the ways they felt trans men were erasing their queer cis womanhood, making them even more invisible than they already were. The ways their identity and community felt so intensely threatened by the existence of trans men.

They told proud stories about how they tried to convince, manipulate, and coerce their partners into not transitioning. They offered advice to each other, describing the emotional blackmail that was most effective in preventing their partner from discussing transition. They had this intense righteousness in talking about dumping long-time partners who pursued medical transition options. They consistently named the trans men they talked about as women, as lesbians, using she/her pronouns the entire time.

I knew purges well. Knew how this could turn in an instant from venting to something even more ominous. Recognized the danger electric in the air. Held the clear knowledge in my body that my ability to dance carefully on the margins of queer women’s communities could twist into a brick wall in my face. That really it was just a matter of time before that happened. I held very very still, sick and trembling, and waited for it to be over.

It wasn’t over when I left that night. Instead, it got worse. These conversations were everywhere, and sparked like flash fires any time I was in queer women’s spaces. There was no escaping them. They didn’t stay in those spaces either. Groups of cis lesbians would show up at the tiny trickle of trans men’s events that began to happen, in order to stand up and demand the conversation center on them and the ways that trans men’s existence hurt them.

I quietly attended a trans men’s open support group (one that welcomed allies), month after month after month, not telling anyone in my life that I was going. I never said a word in the group. Continued to present as and be read as a femme cis dyke. The men in the group all thought I was an ally. They were confused why I kept going. No one else went that wasn’t openly trans, even though they were technically welcome. At least not after accompanying their trans partner the first time. I didn’t have a trans partner, had not begun talking about my own gender with anyone. At the time, I didn’t even really know why I was going. My experience of gender did not match the experiences described in that room. But it was urgent inside me. I needed to go. It hurt to miss a meeting.

That time, those memories, are intertwined with my first moments of recognition of my own transness. That feeling of being deeply afraid, stuck still and trembling, dreading being recognized. That feeling of sickness in my stomach and shards in my throat as I listened to people I thought were my community, and even people I thought were my friends and family, debate my welcome and the welcome of people like me. That certainty, yet again, that who I was meant that I would be rejected, would not find love or sex or wholeness in relationship.

I was a late queer (and trans) bloomer, was part of queer community and doing queer activism without dating pretty much at all (after one terrible disaster). I had never had a romantic relationship with anyone, had pretty much only had casual sex with cis straight men (and one queer man). I identified as bisexual, but hadn’t had sex in a few years at that point. I’d spent most of my out queer life having unrequited unspoken crushes on cis women friends and friends who were queer cis men. This realization that letting myself be trans meant accepting that I would lose community, lose friends, lose my queer family, be treated like an enemy, and never find a partner, was a central part of my sense of myself as a trans person, from pretty much the beginning.

It seemed inevitable, that I could not be trans and be loved or even welcomed by queer cis women. That they would see me as the enemy, if they thought of my transness as real. That if they did love me, or welcome me, it was because they didn’t actually think my gender was real. Those were my choices, my only options as far as it went with queer cis women. To be rejected as enemy or accepted and loved not as myself. I literally could not imagine anything else outside of that framework. It seemed like nobody could, that we were all stuck and spinning and hurting with no way out.

It took several years before I could step enough outside my own trans reality and pain to recognize the ways trans women were (and still are) erased in queer women’s community. The ways transmisogyny was operating in those conversations. The ways that as women, to be rejected and erased from women’s communities was (and still is) an intensely harmful act of cissexism and transmisogyny.

It took many more years before I considered pursuing any sort of medical transition options. At one point, I was asked by my primary partner to promise that I would never go on testosterone. And I agreed.

It took longer before I recognized that attempting to coerce, convince, or manipulate your partner into making particular decisions about their gender or attempting to limit your partner's gender expression is abusive behavior.

From pretty much the beginning, I imagined not letting myself be trans. Hiding, so I could stay in dyke community, so I could keep relationships, so I might possibly be able to find a girlfriend someday. It took a long time for me to choose something else. It felt like such a huge risk to do so, a leap into a future I could barely imagine as anything but bleak and lonely.

My Personal Response to Grandmother nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds

I brought this personal history to my reading of Rose Lemberg’s Nebula nominated Grandmother-nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds.

Quite literally. After reading it, I relived the visceral memory of what it felt like to be in that room at that town hall meeting twenty years ago, lay in bed frozen and trembling. That feeling rolling round and round in my head, of stuckness, of being caught, of deep fear at being recognized. I saw myself, a future I could have lived, almost did live, in Bashri.

It hurt to read a story from the point of view of a cis woman who sounded so much like those women in that meeting, who struggled so much to hold the reality of her grandparent’s transness, and her sibling’s non binary identity.

It hurt, and it healed at the same time.

This story felt like such an emphatic clear answer to the framework that had taken me about a decade to think my way out of. Not an easy answer, not a simple answer, but such an insistent one.

My first cogent reaction to this story was: I wish I’d read this 20 years ago. I needed this story when I was first coming into my transness and trying to imagine my own future and what it could be.

This story, written by a trans writer, that centers two trans characters with very different genders. This story that works against a cis gaze even as it is told from the point of view of a cis woman. This story that broke open old wounds and helped them breathe. This story that insists on the reality that our transness cannot be muted without cost, and will need to be faced eventually. This story that offers a vision of queer family that cannot hold stubbornly tight to rejection of trans family, that instead needs to figure out how to hold us, perhaps a bit more loosely than before.

Considering Grandmother nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds as a Trans Writer

When trans authors write trans characters in a complex nuanced way, there are folks who won't get it. Especially cis folks.

It won't fit the prescribed form that cis people are told they need to follow in order not to be fucked up in their representation. It will be more complicated than that.

Because the prescribed form is written in a simplified way, that assumes that cis people have less nuanced analysis of and experience with trans oppression, transmisogyny, cissexism, dysphoria, and internalized trans oppression.

Because trans writers choosing to engage with the trans oppression of cis people that we know so intimately from having been targeted by it in so many ways and internalizing it in so many ways…we are going to engage with it differently. We bring a different lens, the complexity of our personal history, an on-the-ground analysis of oppression that comes from being targeted by it relentlessly. We tell different stories about it, because we are writing from deeper lived experience, because we have different reasons for telling them, and are often writing for different audiences.

Lemberg discusses this in their recent post about this story:





“The viewpoint of Aviya was difficult for me. It is a viewpoint that begins from a place of both love and at the same time rejection of our truest selves, which is so familiar and so incredibly hurtful for many of us with cis and/or straight family members. When I am writing a viewpoint of a cisgender family member who is loving, but only conditionally accepting I am both writing the other, and writing from a perspective which is excruciatingly and deeply familiar to me. Like many trans people, I have been pressured to learn this perspective, to internalize it, to center it before my own.”




This is a story that lives in the tension of holding firm in trans perspective and reality, and engaging and connecting with the internality of a cis perspective that deeply struggles to honor and accept trans reality. Connecting with cis perspective is something that is a common experience for trans people, as Lemberg points out. To engage with it while holding firm on a trans lens for the story itself is a nuanced balancing act that trans writers are much better placed to do. We have a lot more practice.

If this story were written by a cis person, it wouldn’t work.

I would never advise a cis person to write a story about trans people and tell it from a cis character’s point of view. I would especially advise cis writers not to describe the ways cis characters struggle to accept and love and be decent to trans people in their lives. Those stories mean something really different when told by cis people. Those stories are told in really different ways when they are written by cis people.

In Cheryl Morgan's article for cis writers, on “Writing Better Trans Characters,” she talks about the cis gaze:





"There is such a thing as "cis gaze"; that is, a book can be written because cis people are fascinated by trans people. They want to see us doing those weird trans things that they think we do. Or they want to see us as victims that they can feel sorry for and rescue."




That is what cis gaze does in a story. It sets trans people up as Other, as objects, as "fascinating", "interesting", "strange", sources of learning. It sets us up as objects of pity and rescue and study, far from the assumed cis readership. It does that in the structure of the story. This isn't about the POV character's gender, but about what the story does, how it frames the trans characters, what information it decides to share about the trans characters, what language it uses, what questions it grapples with.

This is about stories that turn trans people into objects for cis people to learn from, pity, manipulate, and use. Where trans characters are empty vehicles, not complex nuanced people.

It is important to distinguish the cis gaze in a story from the POV of the story. They are different things. You can write a story that is deeply entrenched in a cis gaze from the POV of a trans character. I've read a lot of those. You can also write a story from the POV of a cis character that is not written from a cis gaze.

Of course, it is possible for trans people to write stories from a cis gaze, because we can internalize it.

But it is also possible for trans writers (like Lemberg) to write stories from a cis character's POV that do something else, something different. Stories that do not come from a cis gaze. In my read of this story, it does something different, and powerful. Something that felt deeply needed for me personally as a trans reader.

This story is told from the POV of a cis person mired in the same framework I described in the first section, a framework that can’t imagine how to do relationship with trans people, can’t conceive how she as a lesbian might grapple with a trans man partner, or how to hold the trans and non-binary realities of her family members. Aviya is stuck in that framework I knew so well twenty years ago, a framework that purges trans people from queer women’s lives because it cannot figure out how to hold onto relationship with them. She is stuck in her own ableism and cannot fathom honoring the non-binary identity of her autistic sibling.

But the story is told from a different framework. A trans and non-binary framework. A framework that holds trans and non-binary realities in their complexities. That insists that Aviya recognize her love for her family and partner is critically important and worth struggling to hold onto, even when she is freaking out and can’t figure out how. That textually challenges trans oppression and cissexism. That illuminates the ways language structures can be hugely important barriers for trans and non-binary people. That insists on honoring the trans reality of a non-verbal autistic character.

This story engages actively with internalized trans oppression, ableism and misogyny. It does that in a way I found quite deft and careful. These things are textually challenged, again and again. It doesn't use unnecessary hurtful language. It works to slowly shift perspective over time. It's not overly blatant or didactic. That's part of what makes it work.

This story shows how stuck all these characters are in trans oppression, ableism and misogyny, both interpersonally and especially structurally. It shows the pain of trans oppression, from the POV of someone who realizes that she has been hurting her loved ones.

It's a hard story.

And, I think, a critically important one.

Final Thoughts

Grandmother nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds” has been nominated for a Nebula, and I find that to be a very good thing.

I am awed by the fact that a story centering a queer family, focused on queer love (both familial and romantic), is honored in this way. I am awed by the fact that a story grappling with the limitations of gender and language, told by a trans author, is honored in this way. I am awed by the fact that a story which insists that the reader hold the complex realities of trans and nonbinary characters is honored in this way. I am awed by the fact that a story by an autistic trans author centering an autistic trans character with powerful and beautiful magic is honored in this way.

Grandmother-nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds” has so much in it that moves me, so much that feels important and necessary and full of the kind of respite that I ache for.

I urge you to read it. To let this story in. To hold it in its complexity and nuance. To consider what it has to say.

Read Grandmother-nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds" for free.

(cross posted on WordPress, Tumblr & LiveJournal)

tgstonebutch: (boot)

What books do I carry with me? Let's start with the practical. Three years ago I packed myself up and moved across the country. I took very little, leaving the bulk of my things (including a lot of books) in storage, took only what was absolutely necessary. That included a small number of books. I had to bring the books I could not live without, the books whose support I thought I might need when landing in a new place.

Most of the books I brought were ones I've read many times, books I hold inside, and carry with me. Books I know so well that I think in them. Books I use over and over again to inspire my writing, to remind myself of what I know, to hold a mirror up to my own life.

Here is a list of fifty books that are dear to my heart, precisely because they kicked my ass in some major intense way when it needed to be kicked, or showed me I wasn't alone when I felt deeply alienated, or helped me understand something I really needed to understand.

Links are to Goodreads. If you have a question about a book, or want trigger warnings, you can also feel free to ask me about it.

These are books I read as an adult. (I'd need a whole other list for books that shaped me as a child.) Many of these books came with me as I traveled, or I quickly realized that I needed to have them again. These are books that gut-punch me in ways that I need it, hold up the mirrors I ache for, inspire me to be brave. I consider them essential texts that have shaped me, and continue to shape me.

tgstonebutch: (boot)

“the world needs more erotica that consciously depicts the beautiful diversity of bodies and identities”



I am honored that She Bop, a fabulous feminist sex shop in Portland, recently posted about my writing, with a focus on writing disability in erotica. It makes my heart sing to know that there are sex shops like this who get excited about disability representation in erotica.

She Bop carries print copies of Show Yourself To Me (it’s listed as a staff pick!), so if you are in Portland I hope you will consider checking out the shop and perhaps picking up a copy. They also have an online store that is definitely worth a look. Perhaps you can grab a copy of Coming Out Like a Porn Star, or The Collection: Short Fiction from the Transgender Vanguard (which is on sale right now and is a seriously amazing collection). Might I suggest picking up your very own Tristan plug (which is featured in a story in Show Yourself To Me), or getting a copy of Tobi Hill-Meyers amazing Doing It For Ourselves: The Trans Women Porn Project?

So, I got inspired to gather a few links of my writing on disability and erotica.

Imagining Disabled Characters in Erotica answers the question “what would it add for you to find more disabled characters in erotica?” and goes on to describe some of how I write disability into erotica.



“That’s what I think about when I try to imagine an abundance of disabled characters in erotica. All the modeling that is possible, that could show me ways of being in sex and kink and relationships and queerness and community that I cannot imagine right now, cannot fathom in the sea of ableism that I’ve been steeping in for years. There are possibilities I cannot conceive of, ways of navigating the world that I could learn only from erotica that centered disabled characters in the fullness of their lives and struggles and fantasies. Futures that are possible, that could be moved towards and tried out and organized around our hope and yearning for that kind of erotic reality.”


Being a Disabled Top in Kink Community talks about my experiences of disability and access in kink community and how writing erotica is one of the ways I can access kink.



“I can’t show up in person most of the time, but I can write. I can write visions of kink communities that are more accessible.”


Writing Erotica as a Disabled Top talks about the struggles of self-representation and gives a specific example of how I edited the beginning of a story to include disability.



“As I’ve become increasingly more disabled, much more of my work represents BDSM play that I used to be able to do, but do not currently have the physical or psychological capacity to do.”


What To Take In, my first monthly column at The Erotica Readers and Writers blog, talks about writing insider stories (e.g. stories by disabled people, centering a disabled audience, for disabled readers) and how it can be important to think carefully about editing feedback that asks you for more detail or explanation. It gives a particular example about that kind of feedback around disability.



“This story is an insider story, for fat activist queers, particularly for disabled fat activist queers. It intentionally does not make a big deal about how people move on scooters, because it’s a regular part of life for the intended audience.”


Writing Disability Into Erotica is a blog post I wrote for the Show Yourself To Me blog tour, where I give concrete tips and examples for writers interested in disability representation in erotica.



“Because disabled folks are so often desexualized, it is particularly important to make them sexual subjects in your story, where you value their desire. But it is also deeply important to tell a story about how that particular character is desired. To make that desire specific and concrete and complex and alive on the page. Because the last thing you want in erotica that includes disabled characters is to assist readers in a patronizing pitying smug smile about how nice it is that your disabled character found a man.”


One of the main projects of my new erotica collection, Show Yourself To Me, was to write disabled queers into erotica. Many of the links in this post describe those writing efforts. I’m thrilled that reviewers have recognized this aspect of the book. Here are a couple reviews that discuss disability representation: Kiki DeLovely and Kaleigh Trace.



“If you want to see disabled people getting off, then this book is your bag.” –Kaleigh Trace

“As someone with an invisible chronic illness, I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to see issues of disability addressed thoroughly as well as elements of it simply woven casually into much of the collection.” –Kiki DeLovely

tgstonebutch: (boot)

Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, I won't be reading tonight at Leather, Lace and Lust at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco. The lineup is amazing and I do hope you will still consider going out and supporting these fabulous erotica writers.

In a couple weeks I will be reading from my new collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, at Leather, Lace and Lust in San Francisco. I really enjoy reading at this event and am looking forward to it.

What: An Evening Of Lusty Literature By Many Of The Best Erotica Writers In The Bay Area!

From the tempting tease of delicate lace to the steamy heat of hardcore leather, these authors and performers will amuse, delight, and most of all excite you in all kinds of new and provocative ways. In other words, a night of kick-ass erotica performed by ass-kicking writers!

Sponsored by WriteSex.

Who:


  • Daddy X has stories published in anthologies by Naughty Nights Press, House of Erotica, Cleis Press and now Daddy X, The Gonzo Collection has been released through Excessica. He is a frequent contributor to the Erotica Readers and Writers Association and their on-line Gallery where he serves as Storytime Editor.

  • Jean Marie Stine is the author of a number of pioneering works of erotica published in the late 1960 and early 1970s, beginning with Season of the Witch in 1968, which was filmed as the motion picture Synapse. Her erotic short stories and novelettes have been collected as Trans-sexual: Fiction for Gender Queers.

  • Linda Poelzl – has been writing and reading erotica since the early 90s. Her stories have appeared in several anthologies, the most recent being Joan Price's Ageless Erotica, Sex for People Over 50 published in 2013. Her articles have appeared in professional journals and a college textbook on sex and relationships.

  • Xan West refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops, strong supportive bottoms, queer activist communities, red meat, and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds.

  • Mistress Lorelei Powers – is a well-known bi poly sadist and Domme. She is the author of several BDSM classics, including On Display, The Mistress Manual, and Charm School for Sissy Maid.

  • M. Christian is a recognized master of erotica with more than 400 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica and many others.

When: Saturday December 19th, 2015. Doors at 630pm. Event starts at 730pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St between 9th and 10th.

Tickets can be gotten here.

Fetlife event is here.

Hope to see you there!

tgstonebutch: (boot)
 The first bit of news is that my solo collection, Show Yourself To Me: Queer Kink Erotica, published by Go Deeper Press, will be released on October 2. It is available right now for pre-order!

This collection is dear to my heart, the culmination of the last 15 years of writing erotica. It includes the best of my previously published stories, alongside some new work that I’m really excited to share with you.  You can find the table of contents here.  Check out a preview here.

Annabeth Leong has penned a beautiful, brave, and brilliant introduction, and some amazing folks have written blurbs that blow me away. Here is a taste of the advance praise for Show Yourself To Me:
“Xan hasn’t just written a great book, but a book that changes what erotica can and should be. Prepare yourself: from this point on, erotica is measured by what Xan has done and will do in the future.”
—M. Christian, author, editor, publisher

“Xan West writes it the way most kinky folks dream of living it.”
—Carol Queen, PhD, author of The Leather Daddy and the Femme

“Wonderfully intense in the best way.”
—Alisha Rai, author of Serving Pleasure, Bedroom Games and A Gentleman in the Street

“Reading erotica that reflects so much of who I am and who my partner(s) are is pretty mind blowing and not something I’ve ever seen published.” —Wyatt Riot, sex educator

I’m putting together an electronic book tour for this collection, and you can follow along during the month of October as some amazing bloggers talk about this book, and share excerpts and interviews.

The second piece of news is that I’m returning to Perverts Put Out! to read again at the pre-Folsom Street Fair show.  I will be reading a story from Show Yourself To Me, and may even have a few early copies to sell and sign!

Who:  Pleasantly perverted performers will include Charlie Jane Anders, Gina de Vries, Daphne Gottlieb, Princess Cream Pie, Steven Schwartz, Na'amen Tilahun, Xan West, and more!

What: San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series, presided over by your humble hosts Dr. Carol Queen and Simon Sheppard. $10-25 sliding scale

When: Saturday September 26, 2015. Doors open at 7pm, Show starts at 8pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco, 1349 Mission Street, San Francisco


I do hope that if you are in town for Folsom, you will consider making it out to PPO. It promises to be an amazing reading.
tgstonebutch: (boot)
So, a few new things about my queer kink erotica collection, Show Yourself To Me, out Oct 2 from Go Deeper Press.
I am getting so excited!!!!
tgstonebutch: (boot)

I am excited to be reading this Saturday at Liminal's Fourth Feminist Showcase.

Who: I will be reading alongside these lovely folks:

What: Liminal's 4th feminist showcase, on the THEME: I wear the glasses in this relationship! Suggested donations of $10 at the door or in advance, but no one is turned away for lack of funds. Get advance tickets here. Facebook event here.

When: Saturday 8/15/15 . Doors open at 6pm, reading starts at 7pm.

Where: Liminal, a feminist writing space, located at 3037 38th Avenue, Oakland, CA.

I will be reading from my novel in progress, Shocking Violet. It's a kinky polyamorous butch/femme romance novel that centers two disabled Jewish queers and their networks of relationships, set in NYC amidst the intensity of trans inclusion activism. Unlike my usual readings, this one will not contain explicit content, but focuses on the first date between Violet and Jax, and how they navigate the spark of D/s between them.

Here is a small taste of the excerpt I will be reading from this weekend. Learn more about Shocking Violet and find more excerpts here.

The appetizers arrived and gave her something to do with her hands. She concentrated on stirring the cold noodles with these awesome tongs they gave her, then looked up at him, asking with her eyes if she could serve him some.

“I’d like a small portion,” he said, his voice a bit hoarse. It made her shiver, that and the intensity of his eyes as he said it, as if he was taking a risk.

Oh.

It felt like the world contracted a bit, and she was holding her breath. She’d just gone there without even deciding to, as if her whole self had yearned toward him and reached without thought, just reached. She hadn’t let herself go there in so damn long. She’d been sure it would be hard (and it probably would be), but in this moment, it had this rightness to it and all she felt was the desire. Whoa.

Violet forced herself to breathe, and just let it all out in her smile as she bent over the little plate, making sure she had the right portion, that there were cucumbers on the plate, that it looked pleasing to the eye. Just let herself sink into this small pleasure as a gift for herself. It was ok to let it out just a bit. It was ok. She’d forgotten the way colors seemed brighter when she did this, the way calm sat in her heart. Oh my. This butch was dangerous.

Her hands were trembling just a bit as she placed the plate in front of him. She pulled them back quickly and put them in her lap, sliding the fidget from her purse to give her hands something to do as she pulled herself inward, found her core again. She took three long breaths, and put the fidget away, her hand sliding under the collar of her sweater and caressing the back of her neck as she silently recited the words written there. When she was ready, she looked up at him, and found his eyes gentle, waiting.

“A beautiful plate. Thank you Violet.”

She could feel her eyes swimming. Damnit. It was like he knew it was a big deal, and he was ok with holding that. That it was a big deal for him too. Oh fuck.

I hope that you will come out to Liminal this Saturday!

tgstonebutch: (boot)

I'm excited to be reading my queer kinky erotica at Leather, Lace and Lust this Saturday night at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco!

I have chosen to read an unpublished piece, an excerpt from my polyamourous queer BDSM romance novel in progress, Shocking Violet, that's titled "My Pretty Boy". It depicts a gender play scene between Jax, a transgender stone butch dominant, and his pretty boy, Rickie, a stone femme trans guy. The full story will be printed in my upcoming erotica collection, Show Yourself to Me, along with most of my erotica, old and new. This collection, coming out from Go Deeper Press, showcases my work over the last fifteen years.

I'm looking forward to sharing an excerpted version of "My Pretty Boy" with folks this weekend. I adore the relationship Jax has with Rickie, and the intensity of their play together. This story centers a bottom who hates soft gentle touch, and chooses to take it anyway, for his dominant. That aspect of their play electrifies the scene.

I'm going to share a taste with you. As a heads up, it references gender play, blood sports, blade play, and pain play.

Rickie was as armored as Jax. He didn’t want anyone too close, didn’t talk about feelings. That suited Jax just fine. The play was hot, respectful, intense, and boundaried in exactly the way Jax needed it to be.

Tenderness was edgy for Rickie, which made it a lovely tool for a stone butch sadist like Jax. His reactions to it were so glorious. Jax was looking forward to this date.

Rickie greeted him in the tightest black jeans Jax had ever seen, and a teal hoodie, unzipped so Jax could see the white v-neck underneath. His head was tilted, his eyes accented with slate eyeliner, his lips a deep blue, his nails a sparkly fuschia.

“Damn, you look pretty, boy.”

“I thought you might appreciate these jeans, Sir.”

Rickie adored being Jax’s pretty boy. He needed to be honored in the complexity of his gender, the ways that it was classic NYC Puerto Rican femme. Jax had consistently done that over the last year and a half. Inside play, and out of it. That shit was rare.

“Where are you at tonight?” Jax asked.

“I need to go down, hard. Need to prove I can take a lot. I need to bleed for you.”

“You can take a lot. You’re tough. The prettiest boys usually are, hmm?”

“Sir, I need…please make my mascara run.”

“Gladly. It makes me want to fuck you. Do you want my cock inside you tonight?”

“Oh, yes, Sir. I need you inside me.”

“Then we are on the same page. I’m in a claiming mood, like where we went a couple months ago. Remember that?”

Did he ever. That was exactly right for tonight, so much what Rickie needed that he hadn’t even let himself think it.

“I’d like that,” he said gruffly.

“Alright, then. Are you ready for me?”

“Ready, Sir.”

“Stay in exactly that spot. I will be there in a bit.”

Jax headed to the bathroom with his bag. He hadn’t wanted to be packing on the train over. But now that they were going to play…The familiar press of it in his tight jeans was a reminder to seek his own pleasure tonight. He had bad habits in that area, and he’d been working on breaking them. He was no service top, at heart, had deep needs of his own, and balancing them as he played was part of his conscious practice over the past year.

He took his time moving toward his boy, looked him over, slowly. He pulled out the only three tools he needed. His favorite quirt, his rubber flail, and the scissors that were dedicated to this boy. He picked up the scissors, pressed the sharp tips against his boy’s jugular, and spoke for the first time since he’d put the boy against the wall and told him to stay there.

“If you want to keep those jeans intact, they need to come off, now.”

If you want more Jax, he appears in a number of excerpts I have posted already. Of course you could also show up on Saturday and hear me read more from this particular excerpt.

tgstonebutch: (boot)
Next weekend I will be reading my erotica at Leather, Lace and Lust in San Francisco. I really enjoyed reading at this event last year and am looking forward to it.

What: An Evening Of Lusty Literature By Many Of The Best Erotica Writers In The Bay Area!

From the tempting tease of delicate lace to the steamy heat of hardcore leather, these authors and performers will amuse, delight, and most of all excite you in all kinds of new and provocative ways. In other words, a night of kick-ass erotica performed by ass-kicking writers!

Sponsored by WriteSex.

Who:

  • Suz deMello, a.k.a Sue Swift, is a best-selling, award-winning author of seventeen romance novels in several subgenres, including erotica, comedy, historical, paranormal, mystery and suspense, plus a number of short stories and non-fiction articles on writing.

  • Amy Marsh likes to hypnotize people and play with her cats. She's a writer, clinical sexologist, certified hypnotist, sexuality and hypnosis instructor, and ally for trans/GV causes and for Hawai'i independence (Ku Kia'i Mauna!). She's currently working on a book about erotic hypnosis.

  • Daddy X has stories published in anthologies by Naughty Nights Press, House of Erotica, Cleis Press and now Daddy X, The Gonzo Collection has been released through Excessica. He is a frequent contributor to the Erotica Readers and Writers Association and their on-line Gallery where he serves as Storytime Editor. Many of Daddy's pieces are currently available in ERWA's Treasure Chest.

  • Jean Marie Stine is the author of a number of pioneering works of erotica published in the late 1960 and early 1970s, beginning with Season of the Witch in 1968, which was filmed as the motion picture Synapse. Her erotic short stories and novelettes have been collected as Trans-sexual: Fiction for Gender Queers.

  • Xan West refuses pronouns, twists barbed wire together with yearning, and tilts pain in many directions to catch the light. Xan adores vulnerable tops, strong supportive bottoms, queer activist communities, red meat, and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds.

  • M.Christian is a recognized master of erotica with more than 400 stories in such anthologies as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bisexual Erotica, Best Fetish Erotica and many others.

When: Saturday July 11th, 2015. Doors at 630pm. Event starts at 730pm.

Where: The Center for Sex and Culture in SF. 1349 Mission St between 9th and 10th.

Tickets can be gotten here.

Fetlife event is here.
Hope to see you there!
tgstonebutch: (boot)
A few weeks ago I posted something about the tipping point into D/s.

Last week I posted something about erotica anthology covers.

I've begun a
series of posts for erotica and erotic romance writers on writing characters who have experienced trauma on my website

The first 2 posts are up.

In
Writing Characters Who Are Trauma Survivors, Part 1, I discuss the reasons why erotica and erotic romance writers might include characters who experience trauma and who have PTSD in our stories, and give some (hopefully) clear and concise definitions of trauma and PTSD.

In
When Trauma Survivors Get Triggered, I talk about what happens when trauma survivors get triggered, name common types of triggers and walk through an example of what might happen if your character got triggered.

I also just posted this: In Support of the Practice of Discerning Abusive Dynamics and Behaviors It's my response to recent events on tumblr.
 

BADD post

May. 1st, 2015 09:30 pm
tgstonebutch: (boot)
So I posted something for Blogging Against Disablism Day on my website, about being a disabled top. It's an edited version of the talk I gave on the disability and kink panel I was on last summer. 

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